Jake Lo

Shortie: College, It Isn't That Bad

2011-11-21T14:45:00.001+08:00

So yeah, I'm in college doing a Diploma in Mass Communication. And frankly, I don't understand how so many people can keep complaining about it being boring and assignments being tedious. I know it's just my first semester but the coming semesters look delightful and I am absolutely looking forward to Film Studies and whatnot.

Alright, now to continue writing my public speaking assignment. I think I'll do something on Ancient Greece.

Love you all just like the way you love me.

"What? Why?"

2011-11-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

Well, I recently told a friend that "about 10% of the things I do I do just to disturb people".

This is particularly true. An example of this tendency would be my plan to buy up a whole street, rename it 'That Street' and build up several stores with names like 'That Boutique' or 'The Cafe with the Awesome Food'.

This will end up making people have awful conversations that will seem insanely irritating.

Dude: Hey, babe. Where are you?
Chick: Oh, hey honey. I'm at That Restaurant.
Dude: Hahaha, but seriously, babe. Where are you?
Chick: Oh, you know! That Restaurant right next to The Convenience Store That Sells All Sorts of Junk!
Dude: Are you cheating on me? You don't want me to find you do you?! That's it we're through!

And that is basically what my plan will cause sooner or later.

Ah well, back to enjoying my fries. Such is the diet of a college student.

Shortie: Throw Routine Out the Window

2011-10-18T15:47:00.002+08:00

I have never been one for routine, preferring to do things my way when I feel like it. Of course, one must have adequate discipline for such a life so I'm absolutely thankful for my parents bringing me up the way I am right now: Orderly Chaos, I call it. Anyway, I may not be one for routine but I still end up getting things done in the end.

I don't know if everyone feels the same way, but I love having things done this way. It works for me.

Tsunami?

2011-09-07T00:22:00.001+08:00

Oh hello, it's me, Jake Lo. Your brilliant, yet smokingly attractive writer/blogger/model/crap-talker. But enough about me for now, I have an important yet urgent matter to tell you all.

There is a tsunami alert involving Penang and most coastal areas. At least that's what I've heard. Anyway, just telling you all about this because I'm pretty sure everybody would want to know about something like this. It could be a hoax, but I'm not saying it is.

Just stay safe, people. I honestly care about you. Because without you, I will have no one else to read me.

Somebody Please Ban These People From Ever Owning a Vehicle

2011-09-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

I've been driving for a few months now and it is without a doubt I am much better than when I first started out. And my experience on the roads have left me much wiser to the human soul. As in I know you people are all horrible drivers and your horrible driving skills piss me off.
Now, don't get me wrong. There are tons of great drivers out there with lots of manners but most drivers out there are selfish and wrong. And here's a list of the types that annoy me the most.

People Who Can Ride Motorcycles As Well As Rebecca Black Can Sing - Now, there is nothing wrong with owning a motorbike and using it like someone who has passed their motorcycle-whatchamacallit tests. There are a lot of delightful motorcyclists out there. But when you Rempit about like a lunatic on your Honda Cub you are not only endangering yourself (nobody really cares about you and whether you crash or not, they just think you're a nuisance), you are endangering the beautiful people who drive like they deserve their valid licenses. And another thing, you people have your own space to drive. It's that strip of road on the left side of the line. I have lost count of how many times I've seen motorcyclists veer onto the space designated for cars. You are not a car, you stay within your effing line. Just today, this idiot of a motorcyclist had the audacity to stay in my way even when I beeped at him (seriously, he noticed). But I got him back, hope I gave him a scare.

See this? You are not this.

Now this. This is you. Now please, go away. Nobody wants you near them.

Underage Drivers/Mini-Motorcyclists - These are some of the worst. You would usually see them out and about around village areas riding their parents' motorcycles like it's their grandfather's road. Well here's news for you, my very own granddad paved these roads for your effing convenience so technically it's my grandfather's road (in that particular area, at least). Your argument is now invalid. And they never wear helmets. Nuff said.

Show them one of these they will ask you what it is.

People Who Drive Like They Have Somewhere to Be - Yes, I know you just got done with your Raya break and you're rushing back home because you already balik-ed your kampung and now you're going home but that is no excuse for you to drive like a lunatic. I mean, is it worth endangering your children? Perhaps you have awesome driving skills but that will not prevent me from crashing into you because all teenagers are like that. So keep your distance and I will not hunt done all of your relatives so I can discontinue your bloodline.

That is all for this Public Service Announcement brought to you by Jakers. You have been warned and if you choose not to take the advice, at least prepare the passports, fake ID's and moustaches you will need to escape the country.

Life's Good

2011-08-17T16:17:00.000+08:00

I'm currently sitting in my apartment room, just chilling and all that. I just came back from Gurney Plaza cause I needed some stuff and Cold Storage seemed like a brilliant place to shop for groceries.

So, sorry guys if I don't have any pictures up yet. I don't feel good about it either. In fact, I feel like a politician, promising things to the public he will never do. But anyway, Orientation Day 1 and 2 are over and to the people who were there, they would know that I did tons of things like being part of a letter 'E', dance that Nobody dance thing from the Wonder Girls, attempted to remember everyone's name, course and hometown in 15 minutes (and successfully, I might add) and just plain made people notice me.

Here are a few updates on moi. My room's pretty okay, I still cook like a teenager, and my dad won't get me a car until I know all of Penang's roads like the back of my hand. *Looks at back of hand* Where the heck did that mole come from?!

So yeah, that's all you need to know for now, I suppose. More to come, my lovelies!

I'm Here, Baby!

2011-08-14T18:01:00.001+08:00

So, as some of you may know I have moved to Penang. Today. Currently, I am writing this in my apartment bedroom.

I have an awesome view of the pool and everything, the balcony has a view of the ocean, and it's a 5 minute walk from Gurney Drive. This is great. :)

Well, I've got to go do some stuff now. Pictures soon!

Hello, I'm Busy Cause I'm a Student...

2011-07-31T17:56:00.000+08:00

So yeah, don't really have a lot of time to blog cause I have a whole shitload of things to do.

I mean, I haven't gotten a room yet and I don't want an effing dorm so yeah. I'm estimating that the next time I blog about my trip to China with tons of pictures is going to be the end of next month, cause before I get all this done, I won't have a lot of time.

So I've decided to do like Cheesie and just put up a bribe.

This is a picture of me angry.

"Why am I angry?" you ask? Well, that's till next time. And I won't tell you till next time. Bwahahahahaha!

The Jakers Guide to Surviving an All-Day Summer Walking Tour in Shanghai... Or Anywhere Else

2011-07-08T16:08:00.006+08:00

Every seasoned traveler knows that when it comes to seeing every detail of a certain place you're visiting, it's always best to have a walking tour. Because then you'll be able to see every tiny detail and get a great workout on your legs! I am such a genius. *Admires self in mirror* Oh, and here's my guide on how you do it. After this sentence.
Here.

Step 1 - Planning Your Route!
Yeah, the thing about a walking tour is to see every detail, and that's why you don't need a preplanned route. Cause everyone knows that by not having a plan, you're going to get lost and end up going everywhere with your intended destination showing up last. But this is a good thing. You get to find out about that awesome souvenir store, that stinky tofu stall and of course, that old man in the dark alley that sells products on the inside of his trench coat! The possibilities are endless!

Step 2 - Surviving the Hot Summer Heat
Now, to survive this insanely hot weather that just boils the blood in your veins, you must wear sunscreen. Preferably SPF 1000000 because summer is the same everywhere. It will burn you. And if you don't use any protection at all, you will end up resembling Peking Duck. This means ravenous locals will eat you up. Leaving nothing but bones. I'm serious, I once watched two Chinese youngsters eating a full-size Family Bucket at KFC. They were done in 30 minutes and left nothing but bones. But don't worry if you can't find any sunscreen that strong, you can just do what the locals do. Use an umbrella, and put a soaked towel that has been in the refrigerator for the past 30 minutes on your head. This must also be done at night, because apart from the summer heat, they also have huge spotlights turned on at night. These are just as bad as the daytime sun.

Step 3 - Ensuring Your Survival
After you've done all that, I'm sorry to tell you... It's not enough. It's still too hot and frankly, sunscreen just protects you from UV-rays so it's practically useless against heat. So to really survive this and be comfortably cool at the same time, you must go in and out of air-conditioned stores. Yes, pretend you're in a warzone and you don't have ammo and the heat is your adversary, shooting millions of bullets in your general direction. What do you do? You run for cover! Thankfully, there are stores everywhere for this exact purpose. You jump in. Jump out. Run for the next store and jump in. Cool down. Jump out! Run to the next store. See something you like. Buy it! Jump out. And so on... Like a ninja...

Step 4 - Nourishment
All this insane heat and manic exercise will obviously drain you of all your fluids and energy. To survive malnourishment, you must refill! No, there are no power-ups scattered about, you nerd. *Shakes head with haughty derision* You have to buy food and drink and you have to consume them. You don't just walk on it and it flashes and your health gauge goes up. Yeah, this will help you survive the terrifying heat and live to tell the tale to your future grandchildren. I, Jake Lo, who is generous and generally helpful all the time have written a draft as to what you should say.

Elderly You: When I was your age, we didn't have Segway hoverboard tours. We had walking tours.
Most Probably Obese Grandchild: Gasp! That's horrible! However did you survive?
Elderly You: Well, I remember there was this blog -that's like a record of daily life or a collection of words, by the way- written by a handsome, kind, amazingly-attractive-to-all young man that had these advice articles and other extremely entertaining, extremely helpful posts. I owe it all to him.
Most Probably Obese Grandchild: Wow... *Mouth open in awe* He sounds amazing...
Elderly You: *Nod wisely* He is.

Step 5 - Getting Back Home
After ending your tour, there are numerous ways to get home. You can take a electric-bike carriage. These zoom along sidewalks and will get you home on a journey where the driver beeps his tiny horn at least 50 times. You can take the subway. These take no time at all. Unless you get on around 8AM or 4:30PM. During these times, every single human being in the city will be packed like sardines in the subway car you're on. For this method of going home, a respirator is needed. Then there's the most expensive way of getting home. By taking a taxi. This is a great way of getting home cause they have touchscreens on the back of the frontseat headrests, giving your fingers lots of fun-filled activity.

Now, go write up a script for that conversation you're going to have with your grandkids.

I Finally Got Around to Telling You What's Up

2011-07-05T13:55:00.001+08:00

As some of you well know, I was at the LCCT on the 18th of June, yapping pretentiously into my cellphone at a Starbucks while loving my Java Chip Frappuccino. Then I got on my flight after making ten very long, very important, very ridiculous calls.
And it was a long flight. Filled with jelly beans and the offering of jelly beans to the Taiwanese passenger sitting next to me. Probably because I felt sort of guilty for bothering him five times throughout the flight.

"You wanna' jelly bean? Take one, I insist! TAKE ONE! TAKE ONE NOW!"

And that's why window seats may be considered bad...

But views like this is why they may be considered good.

Anyway, I went to tons of places the few days afterward. Places like Jinqiao Park, where they have clumps of trees that make you feel like you're in a video game with those CGI trees that precede the fighting of some giant forest monster... Or you know, a place where you can find Smurfs.

Yeah, see those trees? Those trees are hiding something.

And then, there was this mall where everything was so American. American in the sense that not one of the mall patrons were using the stairs and were trying to squeeze into the line of people using the escalators. That's right. A line. For the escalator.

They also had this underground Apple store, which I must admit is very Apple and very cool.

I even went to the Shanghai Aquarium place, where I took about a hundred pictures of fish and other animals you might find at aquariums.

"I shall call you Squishy, and you shall be my Squishy..."

And then there was that awesome Tian Zi Fang place in the Lu Jia Zui area where they sold tons of stuff at what they say are completely reasonable prices.

"Come eat and buy at a store based in one of our old, old buildings!"

Then there was the French Concession where I sucked up every bit of history I could.

See these trees? These trees are imported. IM-POR-TED!

Then there was that place I couldn't remember the name of but was basically from that scene in New Moon where they went to Italy.

"Edward, no! Wait, shit! Where's Edward?! EDWAAAARD!"

Then I went to the Yuyuan Garden which was basically another place where they sold stuff at 'tourist prices'.

"Now if you look to your right, you will see a Dico's... Which is basically a McDonald's no one wants to go to."

Apart from unpopular fast food chains that have to resort to buy-one-get-one-free schemes, they also had completely Western chains in completely Chinese buildings. Which is a pretty interesting combo.

"Here we have a Eurasian child by the name of Starbucks Coffee.

And then there's the mall I go to every other day to hang out and chillax. LifeHub, which is sorta' like MidValley Megamall minus the whole parking issue.

This entire place, is a a labyrinth of money-spending madness.

I also visited this church that had pretty sweet architecture.

Now, tell me this isn't beautiful.

And at the end of the day, when you wanna' get home but don't know which direction to turn, just look for one of these...

"I am your beacon of hope, your symbol of survival! I AM THE SUBWAY SIGN!"

Find one of these babies and you're on the way home. Provided you have enough spare change and know how to make use of this very simple yet brilliant mode of public transportation.
Anyway, I'm sorry I couldn't upload more photos because if I did, then this post wouldn't be able to go on before next week. Seriously, I just don't have that kind of time...
And yes, I took these pictures. Except for the one with the jelly beans.
Alright then, I have to run now. Got to get to LifeHub and chillax and all that.

The Jakers Guide to a Gruesome, Horror-Film Death

2011-06-16T13:10:00.000+08:00

Here I am, teaching you how to get that horrible, dramatic last moment you've always ALWAYS wanted. So here you go.

Option One
Procedure: Call a fat lady fat. This is absolutely effective and she will scream in rage and she will charge at you with the speed and force of an adult rhino. She will grab your wrist and flip you over with dexterity you never thought possible for a creature as fat as her. Taking advantage of your prone position, she will sit on you.
What the Coroner Will Say: Let's see, the cause of death is... Oh good taco-men! Is that a butt imprint?!

Option Two
Procedure: Call Justin Bieber a girl in front of a Belieber. This option has all sorts consequences and you will never know what will happen. She might jump on you and choke you with superhuman strength. She might bash you into a bloody pulp with her JB-autographed hammer. She might even tie you to a JB-autographed chair with rope woven from Justin Bieber's hair and play every single song Justin Bieber has ever sung at full blast.
What the Coroner Will Say: Hmmm... Bleeding from the ears, teeth ground to bloody chips... I'd say Justin Bieber is the murder weapon.

Option Three
Procedure: Go to a gym and find the biggest guy there. Mention how he's losing tone and is starting to look less macho and more girlish with every passing moment. Laugh in his face like the asshole you are and wait. His pupils will shrink, his arms will tense up and he will pick up a dumbbell and bash your face in. Another possibility is that he will push your face onto the treadmill track and laugh manically as your face gets rubbed away.
What the Coroner Will Say: This reminds me... I have to go to the gym.

Well, that's all for now because a Belieber is waving at me through my window with a manic smile on her face and a saw in her hand.

This is Dr. House's soul mate...

2011-06-12T11:34:00.000+08:00

It's chicks with attitudes like this that are the most awesome of the lot.

I Really Need to Look Before I Leap

2011-05-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

Okay, it's no surprise to most people who know me when I say, "My plans didn't really go the way I expected it would." or "My initial schedule is now in shreds and everything got postponed."

So I end up pretty annoyed at how things don't go my way and I chew lots of gum to relieve stress and end up needing to pay a visit to my dentist. (I have a couple more cavities left and our next appointment should be next week)

So to set things straight, I have created an updated version of my previous plans. I hate these postponements.

1. I'm Going to China! Mid-June! For real this time! *Rolls eyes at having to say that*
Yeah, I'm going to China, like finally. Where I can buy tons of awesome things and not come back broke! :D So if you want me to bring you back a souvenir, I'd be glad to. Unless you're a complete stranger, which would be weird of you.

2. Going to College! In Penang! For Now! Still Cool! Still Can't Wait! (Gosh, I exclaim a lot)
Yeah, the US will have to wait cause I spent a lot of alone time thinking this through. And did I think it through or what. I decided jumping into film like that is exactly how I end up ridiculously panicking afterward. So I have decided to take things slow (for once) and start off with the basics. I'm starting my mass communications diploma course in mid-August at KDU Penang (or KL... But most probably Penang) and if you happen to have a nice room in an apartment or house filled with attractive teenagers that look exactly like the kind who would get into some sort of horrible situation where they are hunted down in their own home by a psychotic, machete-wielding masked man of horror and gory doom, tell me cause I really need a room and I hate school dorms in Malaysia.

3. I'm Saving Up to Buy Myself Some Really Awesome Stuff
Doesn't the title say it all? I need USD1000. So yeah...

Okay, that's all for now. I want to go watch TV. Goodbye.

What NS Was Like Part 2: The Awesomeness of People

2011-05-28T14:52:00.000+08:00

Note: YOU PEOPLE BETTER APPRECIATE THIS CAUSE IT TOOK FOREVER TO LOAD THE PICTURES. STUPID CONNECTION... EVERYONE ELSE GET OFF THE INTERNET NOW SO I CAN USE FULL SPEED!

Oh yeah, I'm finally back on my blog. Just soooo busy in the past few weeks and the connection I had sucked like a starved leech so I couldn't blog at all. But I'm back. Yeah.

Anyway, as you all know, I went and took part in the NS thing and pulled through. I survived. I came out skinny and everything and awesome... Then I went to KL and JaneeIsabell fattened me up.

But yeah, at the camp I met all sorts of awesome people. And I ended up not regretting going at all. But if you asked me to go again. No, eff you I will not go. But still, I don't regret going and meeting all these amazing people.

Let's do this in alphabetical order so no one kills each other just because one of them went first.

Anthony Dion Peterson
Seen here at Straits Quay. Who is this? Apparently a heart breaker.

2. Ian Khor

All the other pictures hated me so I went on Facebook and ripped this one off and put it here.

3. Lynn

Seen here with her husband. Mr. Giant Chocolate Bar who works as a door. Don't tell anyone but I think she just loves him for his body.

4. Monica

Monica, seen here riding a bike. We were slacking off while everyone was working. Shh...

That's the people I hung out with most at NS. And we hung out some more when we came out and stuff and yeah. Now for the people I didn't meet at NS but I'm going to mention them anyway just because I can. And because I found them extremely fun people to be around. Though I was unnaturally quiet around them, they just had great energy and I really liked them. And another reason I liked them is cause they had this really nice way of saying 'Do Not!' that I had no way of replicating.

5. People I Would Want to be Part of the Awesomeness (Which does not mean they want to be part of the Awesomeness)

Seen here at Genting's... Wait a minute, somebody's missing.
(In photo: Anne Stephanie Peterson, Eric Shaun Seaton, Reydo Hui, Ethan Teng)

Yeah, here he is.
(In photo: Hansel Khoo)
Dammit, I thought it'd be awesome if I could name my kid Hansel... But somebody beat me to it.

(I couldn't find a good picture with all of them in it so I gave up and just put them in two different pictures...)

I really truly met them here. Odd? Maybe to you. I meet people in all sorts of places so yeah...

Okay, that's all I have to go do more research on my bloodlines and everything. Just in case you were curious, I found a few files in the old storage room in my late paternal grandpa's house and also a few from my maternal grandpa's house. According to them, there's an 80% confirmation-ish thing that says I am *takes breath* Malaysian-Chinese-Thai-Russian-French. But I'm saving up for my DNA to be tested by my good Australian geneticist people waiting back in Oz. Yeah. Okay, that's all bye.

What NS Was Like Part 1: The Whole Dang Thing and Wahtnot and the Like

2011-04-29T13:29:00.000+08:00

Note: I have decided to write about NS in 2 parts, the first (this one) about the thing, the second part about the amazing people I met there. :D

So, around last year, I got the notification letter that I had been selected for the National Service Training Program... Aaaaand I also ranted about it a whole lot, most of my ranting involving outright denial and refusing to go. Yes, I wasn't exactly right in the head that time around due to PSPMS (also known as Pre-SPM-Syndrome).

Anyway, this year on the 3rd of January, I made my way to my camp (which, come to think of it, is pretty amazing compared to camps everywhere else).

This is what the sports area looks like. With sections divided by trees.

I'm telling you, the first couple of days, I was so miserable the very weather got freaking wet and moody and dark and cold. And it being the monsoon season had nothing to do with it either.

So yeah, but after a while I decided that being super-emo wasn't exactly going to help. After all, it was only temporary. I mean, I might as well lose some weight while suffering.

So after that, I became my normal self. Okay, more like my half-brain-dead self cause I didn't want to process anything cause I knew I'd freak if started thinking about it. (Which I did, once)

And being half-awake was okay. Everything went on real smoothly, and I wasn't late. Not even once, most of the time I was damn early so trainers started noticing how awesome I am. (As you can see, being half-awake makes you not truly aware of what others really think of you)

And I got into all the activities like any good camper should. Around that time, I had convinced myself this was just like summer camp and the worst that could happen was that Bigfoot would come knocking on our doors for s'mores. That's actually more dangerous than it sounds because we weren't allowed fires and you can't make s'mores without a fire and when you don't give a Bigfoot his s'mores... *shudders*

Anyway, we did stuff like what-most-people-call-the-flying-fox-but-what-I-stubbornly-referred-to-as-the-flying-squirrel-zipline. And we went kayaking! :D Where me and my partner went at racing speeds until the instructor screamed at us to slow down.

"Slow down!" "Screw you, we don't care!"

And then they let us handle guns. :D Which wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. D: Just aim, pull trigger, and try not to have your gun blow up in someone else's face.

They let me handle a gun? What were they thinking?

I'm hoping that this picture generates lots of attention from anti-firearms people who will bring lots of media attention to me. :D

Then, we did tons of other stuff and ended up throwing our berets into the air.

So long, suckas! We're out! Peace!

You're probably right. Maybe I'm just a bit too lazy to really write a full post with a million pictures. But in my defense, I'm not even sure if this post is legal. We weren't actually allowed to take pictures of the training.

Anyway, the training did not change me one bit. My friends I made there did. But that's another story for another time.

Shortie: Sigh...

2011-04-24T18:24:00.000+08:00

My brother foolishly lent the entire external hard-disk to his friend so now I can't blog cause all my pictures are in that thing.

I'm 18

2011-03-28T17:42:00.002+08:00

"Hey dickhead of a friend! Happy legal day! Now its rape if she is younger.. ;)"
- Ian Khor, first of many birthday text messages.

"Happy Birthday, son! Stay young and don't die young, k?"
- Chan Huan Chin, one of my oldest, and probably one of the most ~~annoying~~ whackable friends ever.

"Happy birthday, my friend!! :)"
- John Mak, oldest of friends, nicest of people.

Wow, I'm old.

I'm Free! Tee Hee!

2011-03-13T17:52:00.000+08:00

Hello world and all its beautiful people! I've missed you so, being cut off from the outside world is such a drag. Especially when my quickest source for info is Twitter. (Thank goodness for Twitter or I wouldn't even know Japan experienced such a terrible disaster!)

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that NS is finally over! That's right! It's over! For me at least, there are still some poor schmucks sulking around at camp cause they're going back a day later. :) I don't know why I'm smiling at their problem but it just feels good not being them.

So here I am, being glad that I'm free now. Free enough to settle all the unfinished business that NS stopped me from doing.

So here's what I'm going to be doing in the closer-than-it-seems future.

1. Take my driving test and get my license.

Yeah, I put up a sexist joke here so I can get into some sort of trouble in a lame attempt to direct attention at this blog.

2. Travel back home.
As I've told anyone who would listen, KL and Penang (Island! Emphasis on Island!) are the only two places in Malaysia where I feel like I'm home. KL with its insane energy and Penang with its comfortingly assuring atmosphere. If you're ever in the same car as me whenever I go to Penang, you'll notice how my face instantly brightens and shines the moment we reach

The bridge leading to the Pearl of the Orient. Penang Island, one of a kind I tell you. One of a kind.

3. Genting Highlands!
I haven't been there since I was a kid. And this time, I'm going with some of the best people I've ever met, so it's gonna' be way awesome!

This place, a group of young, attractive people. What could be more travel brochure-ish?

4. China
The land of my ancestors. It's about time I paid it another visit.

My fave place in Shanghai ever.

5. My SAT's!
I need to take the test. Seriously, I'm not kidding, the deadline for college apps is so short it's not even funny anymore. Bah, maybe I'll just take two years here in Malaysia to do the IB.

Well, that's about what's in my calendar for the next few months. Oh, and I'll be putting up a few posts on NS in a few days. Just as soon as I finish editing the pics. Okay then. I have to go fatten myself up now.

Adaptations

2011-01-22T16:35:00.001+08:00

Hey there, lovelies. Notice how I've been absent for a while? Yeah, I'm currently doing the whole National Service thing at a camp in the middle of nowhere. But now, I'm home to spend the night cause I have to get my passport renewed tomorrow. Then it's back to camp.

Yeah, thank goodness for my ability to adapt to any environment and/or situation or I would have snapped and the whole camp would have disappeared mysteriously...

Anyway, I've met some awesome people here and I fully intend to keep in touch with them after this whole thing is over. That means you, Anthony and Ian.

So yeah, about the camp, can't tell you much. What I can tell you is that it's one of the best camps in the whole of Malaysia and the air is always so amazingly fresh. Imagine breathing fresh, cool air at noon when the sun is shining down on you. And before the sun rises, it just feels so OMG cold you'd shiver after every shower. Yeah, that's cause our camp's on a mountain range and... I just feel so grateful for all this... and at the same time I pity the poor schmucks who got sent elsewhere. :D

My favorite thing about this camp is that it's really, truly a very beautiful place. You just have to know where to look. The sporting area is this huge field surrounded my mountains and it's just amazing.

Yeah, it's kind of like this but minus the dinosaurs.

The camp's this really beautiful place and it's amazing. I was so right to go there with rock-bottom expectations.

Okay, nothing too interesting has happened, so yeah. I'll update again as soon as I can! Love you guys!

P.S. - You can check on my Twitter for constant updates. :)

Confession Time

2010-12-27T17:58:00.000+08:00

Alright, I admit it. I've lied a lot. I've sugar-coated truths so people don't feel bad about themselves cause I sometimes have this impossible urge to be nice. Like when people say they're fat, I try denying it. Even when I think different. It's like I'm aiming for them to get in denial or something. Anyway, I've said some things before that aren't entirely true. I've even made stuff up because I really wanted people to like me cause I went through an insecure-teenager phase once. Sucks, I know, but it's life.

But I'm older now and without a doubt, wiser and much more secure. Perhaps a little viciously snarky too but that's another story.

Anyhoo, here I am, trying to think up all the ridiculous stuff I've said and giving you guys the pure, sugar-free truth. Oh gosh, this is gonna' be a wild ride.

1. We'll start with something small and unthreatening. Like a workout, you have to have a warm-up first, right? Right. I admit that I don't like writing in Chinese. An anonymous reader once asked me why I didn't write my blog in Chinese. I lied and said it was because English was more international when the truth was, I just hated writing in Chinese. I find it such a hassle and my Chinese isn't all that great and there are all these sayings with fish and ducks and prostitutes in them that I just couldn't understand. I also said Chinese was a rather beautiful language but that part was true. I find Chinese calligraphy rather graceful. But what followed was another lie. I lied that I would use Chinese one day when it became more widely-used. But I have no intention of ever doing so. I like writing in English, it's what I'm good at and I won't ever write in Chinese unless I have to. So there.
2. I've lied to fat people about them being fat. Here's what a typical scene would be like.
Fat Person(FP): *Sigh* I'm so fat.
Me: No! No, you're so not! *Gestures wildly at FP* You just have a wide frame, that's all!
FP: I am just so fat... I just like food so much! Why can't I stop eating?
Me: Oh gosh, you're not fat! I've seen fatter people than you! *Walks away quickly to avoid more lying*
Now, of all of the fat people I know, they're all unbelievably nice and are rather soft so I imagine they're terribly cuddly, which is a good thing. But I don't imagine it's healthy so all of you who think your body feels unhealthy, just get to the gym and get some cardio done. It's definitely worth it.
3. I am not a magical genie/merman/unicorn who will grant your every wish. I did not lie about this. Heck, I've never said anything about being a magical anything but certain people seem to think otherwise so I'm taking advantage of this blog post to explain a few things.

So, here it is. The truth is out and it has set me free. Free from replying to Chinese comments in Chinese, free to admit to people that I think they're fat and could do with a treadmill and free to tell kids about how I won't grant their every wish. Well, I get on down to Kay Elle in like, 2 days! See you beautiful people soon!

Looking forward to...

2010-12-21T17:32:00.004+08:00

Now that I've made it out of high school, I'm seriously looking forward to a few things. And here's a list of the things I'm really looking forward to! :D

Note: List not arranged in any particular order...

1. College! (Hopefully Fall 2011... Okay, must be Fall 2011! Yes. Will be Fall 2011.)

Why is there only one bed?

Study, study, party, study...

I am really looking forward to college/university! I mean, there are no lame people in college ~~because lame people are not allowed~~ because college students aren't sadly without a sense of direction. And dorm rooms! I like dorm rooms! They're nice. And a roommate! I want a roommate I can bother and all that! :D

The Great Wall? Been there, done that.

2. China (Early April 2011)
Because of a stupid program that will not be mentioned here, I've had to postpone it. But I'm still going! Like, yippee! Must take advantage of exotic scenery for filming! Yes, I have a top secret project coming up that involves a new YouTube channel I'm gonna' get. This is going to be so awesome I can't wait like OMG it's so- *slaps self* Right. So, yeah. You guys had better watch it when it comes out cause you're nice. Right?

3. Thailand (On Friday)
It's not exactly my favorite tourist destination and I hate the local food (there's a funny smell to it) but there's this really cool shirt I've had my eye on for a while and it's in one of their malls. So yeah, we all have to make sacrifices for what we care about. Even if it means walking around a stinky, stuffy, slimy market for a couple of hours.

4. KL! (After Christmas!)
Yes! One of the two places in Malaysia where I actually feel at home (the other being Penang)! It's vitality, it's energy. It just feels good.

5. America (When college starts)

I think I'll spend a summer in Wyoming.

Yes, the Land of the Free, the Home of the Brave! They say home is where the heart is. My heart's there. At least, a big part is. It's a place where I look at the pictures, reading about it, I just automatically think 'Home'. It's not something I can explain, but to me, it's home. Now, don't get me wrong, Malaysia ain't bad but it doesn't feel like home to me. At least not now. This is not a grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side thing either, it's me loving America for the way it is and all its goodness. The greasy diners, the pavement (yes, I'm weird, so sue me), Thanksgiving, baseball, trick-or-treating, etc. It's not perfect, but nothing on Earth is. Basically, I'm someone who believes in and loves freedom and America's all for that too. So yeah, God bless America!

So that's it. The stuff I'm seriously looking forward to. The stuff I'm counting down to on my calendar! Can't wait for it! So, what are you looking forward to? Tell me in the comments!

Can You Let Go?

2010-12-20T16:51:00.003+08:00

I know we're like, five days away from Christmas and it's supposed to be a period of no-holds-barred celebration but I'm feeling like writing about something serious. No-holds-barred serious.

For the next few paragraphs, I'm gonna' be writing about what people my age are going through and if you don't like reading I suggest you stop now. If you're curious or you like looking at line after line of words, go on ahead, see what I'm thinking.

Anyway, some of you might have read about my blog post about leading your own life and not let anyone else choose anything for you. This one's along the lines of that one, but I won't be giving any advice, I'm gonna' ask you people stuff. Capisce?
Okay, here goes.

For the past few days, I've been playing this video game that involves this New England boarding school and bullies and all that. Halfway through, I just suddenly thought about my own school (boring school, I can tell you that) and that I've finally graduated (best activity they've ever planned). I thought about the leaving part. Not leaving high school, I've already done that, I'm talking about leaving everything that was part of high school. Friends, teachers and all that. Everything that had sentimental value to you.

Now, imagine saying goodbye to all that. Your allies, your friends, your favorite teachers. All of them, leaving them for at least the next decade, or forever.
What I'm asking is, can you let go? Can you let go of all the mementos?
You're gonna' be leaving for college/IB/A-Levels/university, and you might not come back for some time. Will you be sad to leave home? Will you be devastated about saying goodbye to all your friends? Will you cry at the airport? Will your heart feel like its being squeezed when you go through that gate?

Or will you feel free? The thrill of finally leading your own life? The anticipation of an entirely new chapter in a completely unfamiliar place? Do you feel lighter? The excess baggage of the past left behind?
Are you the type to find find comfort in the familiar and safe? Or are you the kind of person to take on something new and make it your own?
If you didn't understand all that, read through it again and again until you do. Then, answer the question: Can you let go? Tell me, can you?

What I Want for Christmas

2010-12-16T15:38:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone! I'm back! :D

And to celebrate my return you must all be falling over yourselves thinking thoughts like "I miss miss miss you must buy gifts for the lovely Jake Lo". But that's just a draft.

But it's widely-known that some gifts aren't exactly liked, so they're returned or exchanged at the store. I don't have the heart to do these things so here I am, kind as always to help you pick out the stuff I really really want.

Note: Wishlist content not arranged in any particular order.

The Jake Lo Wishlist
1. An iPhone 4
I just love all things Apple. They are just all so pretty. :D

2. A guitar
I don't really know how to play but I can always learn. But I can't convince my mom to get me one.
"Giving you a guitar is like giving a robber with a knife a gun." - Jake's mom on guitar thing.

3. Books!
Books never go wrong as gifts! Any good novel has a place with me.

4. Escape from that accursed program they call NS
There is probably a thousand people who wish and pray and hope they can take my place at this disgusting camp. How cruel it is for their dreams to be denied! I don't want to go, why don't they give the chance to someone who does?!

5. A brand new laptop computer I don't have to share with anyone else under any circumstance with a broadband plan to go with it
I don't exactly like sharing. Once you do people keep expecting you to be generous. Which stinks. A whole lot.

I don't have time for a damn title, think one up yourself...

2010-08-26T16:09:00.000+08:00

Hi there, this is Jake saying that he doesn't have time for witty captions but he'll try his best anyway.

So here are the pictures from the last time I was in Penang. And it just so happened the Bon-Odori Festival was there, bla bla bla...

(Insert witty caption here. If you can't think up anything witty, well boo hoo then.)

Kids playing drums, lots of Japanese culture, bla bla bla...

Lots of people in kimono being um... Japanese...

More people in kimono, dancing some sort of Japanese dance.

There ware a whole lot of kimono but none of them were as elaborate as I thought they would be.

What Japanese festival would be complete without sushi? They were closed though. Damn.

And we saw this poor dead animal thing on the sand. There were stupid kids saying it was a dolphin. Does this look like a dolphin to you?!

So yeah, that's about it. The Bon-Odori was so not for me cause it was stuffy and crowded and all culture. So, if you're into Japanese stuff, then go, if not, then I advise you to stick to the malls.

And here's a countdown to my next post because my finals are waiting and I need to study because I'm responsible like that.

I'm not saying it's accurate cause I might finish earlier than that, but whatever, I have to go now. Sorry it has to be this way. See you guys in December! I love you all, you've been great readers! DECEMBER!

"OMG! REALLY?!"

2010-07-31T17:48:00.000+08:00

Yes, that's what the voice in my head screamed when I saw the post on Chester's blog.

I mean, really?! Some super-generous people are giving away free books to people like moi? That's like a dream come true! And at a time like this when I'm abstaining from all things fun because my finals are looming around the corner with a blood-stained axe, I just could not resist! Besides, I have the perfect excuse for reading this book! "It's work..."

So yeah, this awesome site is called BookSneeze, and they're the aforementioned super-generous people giving away free books. And if you love books like Chester and I do, then you'll click on the badge over here.

Atichooo! It's true! It is contagious! I love this disease!

Anyway, a month or so after clicking on my preferred book out of the list of available books, it arrived. I ended up being happier than a girl/cougar who'd managed to grab a handful of Justin Bieber's hair.

A package? Pour moi?

Oh look! It's a book, meant for me! And it's free! Is this a dream? *Pinches self*

Look! It's made of paper and all! *Sigh*, e-books are just not the same.

And so, I ended up reading it every chance I got. And turns out, it was... Okay, I won't say anything here, you guys will have to wait for my review.

And by the way, look out for a post that's coming out soon about my trip to the One Academy Penang and the Bon-Odori Festival! Ciao for now. :)

Shortie: Do You Know That Thing?

2010-07-16T17:57:00.003+08:00

As you know, tons of people are panicking over the entire National Service thing. Me? Well, let's just say that for the past few days I was jumpier than a kangaroo that ate a bag of coffee beans. Then, the people responsible for this whole thing made me wait. And maybe took away two bucks worth of credit from my phone. That had me fuming.

Then, today, as I was just sitting there, being nice, they sent me a damn message that said I was selected. And they had the nerve to congratulate me! Really!?

Ugh, someone is so going to pay for this.

Okay, I'll stop here for now cause I'm too busy raging. I mean, I just might write something the calmer side of my personality will frown upon.

P.S - At least my book from BookSneeze arrived.

P.S.S - I am so going to postpone my training to a later date if I get the early batch cause it'll clash with a few plans of mine. And if they refuse... Well...

OMG, Eclipse?!

2010-07-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

"Yeah, yeah, I know it's a chick flick, but I don't care. I want to watch Eclipse!" - Jake Lo on wanting to watch Eclipse

Okay, so Eclipse is showing and some of you are going to watch it, and some of you are scoffing at the terribly tame romantic scenes, the horrible effects and the constant gasping and moaning of nearby girls every time Edward gets screen time. But me? Well, let's just say I'm gonna' skip all that gasping and just get the DVD when it comes out.

You see, unlike 99% of the male population on Earth whose only concern about Twilight is Taylor Lautner's workout routine, I kind of liked Twilight. And according to the three women of Twitarded, it was loads better than New Moon or Twilight where Robert Pattinson had practically only one facial expression.

See what I mean? (I hope no Robert Pattinson fangirls read this...)

Anyway, the Twitarded ladies also said that Robert's acting is much better. So I guess I don't have to worry too many brooding vampires...

So yeah, I want to watch a movie about a girl who falls in love with a very old dead person. But I assure you males of the world, watching it won't kill you. In fact, you might very well like it. I heard in this one, the director had the Cullens punching the heads off of the newborns. Interested yet?

Oh, The Horror... The Horror...

2010-07-03T00:58:00.000+08:00

OMG. I have just found out about the world's most shocking piece of news. And it has completely rendered me unconscious. I woke up thinking it was a bad dream then promptly blacked out again. This goes on for a while before I got desensitized.

Anyhoo, here it is. The piece of news that was even more shocking than the ending of Life of Pi, even more shocking than the fact that Brazil just lost to the Netherlands in their World Cup match! So here goes... China banned Twitter. *Faints again*

Yes, the Great *CoughStinkingCough* Firewall of China has blocked Twitter from being used in China and I have no idea how I'm going to survive without Twitter for two whole months. In fact, I don't know how anyone is going to survive me without Twitter for two whole months. Better get prepared, I'm gonna' direct all my Tweet-sized rantings at humans directly so China might have an increase in people with bleeding ears.

Anyway, ever since I read about how Twitter has been *bleep* banned in China, my imagination has been working in overdrive, thinking up schemes as to how I'm getting around this stupid firewall.

Plan A
Plan: Use my super-amazing hacking powers to make my way through this firewall and reach Twitter!
Setback: I don't have super-amazing hacking powers. Epic fail.

Plan B
Plan: Pretend to be ghost of an Ancient Chinese Emperor who appears to Chinese officials demanding them to unblock Twitter.
Setbacks: My Chinese sucks. Not to mention ancient royalty type Chinese. And then there might be the problem where I get thrown into a a mental hospital...

Plan C
Plan: Run back and forth between Russia and China just to send Tweets in Russia.
Setback: I love me legs and I want to keep them, thank you very much.

Then there were the plans that were slightly more sane.

Plan D
Plan: Text to Malaysian Twitter mobile gateway.
Setback: Hmm... Apart from the extremely large, number at the bottom of my phone bill, nothing much, really.

Plan E
Plan: E-mail friend in Malaysia and ask friend to Tweet in my place. (Tweet draft included in e-mail.)
Setback: My friends don't have email. Losers.

Then, there was Plan F! :D Oh man, sheer genius, Plan F!

Plan F
Plan: Use third party Twitter apps!

The tech people said that this works and is not constipated by the evil that is the firewall! Hurrah! Thank heavens for TweetDeck!

Now, I'm still trying to figure out if I can blog from China. But I gave up trying to understand what Wikipedia said about this whole thing an hour ago: "Blogspot blogs (but not Blogger) (Status varies. Unblocked for most of 2008.) Blogspot blogs and Blogger are fully blocked as of 15 May 2009. Blocked before 15 October 2007. Unblocked 1 July 2008."

Hey Look! I'm Biking! Fear Me!

2010-06-23T18:52:00.001+08:00

Note: This whole motorcycle thing was not my idea.

Today, I was forced to commit a heinous crime. Otherwise known as attempted murder. Or known in some parts of the world as 'riding'. As in, riding one of those extremely dangerous pieces of machinery that are in need of help from those people at stuttering schools.

Yes, today, I went to the driving school and they put me on the seat of a motorcycle after three hours of telling us what a motorcycle is. Apparently, they're just bicycles for people who can't bother to cycle. Anyway, after the three hours of ~~gibberish~~ pep talk, we were ushered outside to look at other people riding motorcycles. This goes on for a while before the instructor tells us to go stuff our faces before coming back after 45 minutes. So my dad races me to the nearest fast food joint where he blabbers nervously because I told him I was going to ride a motorcycle. This is the equivalent to telling him I'm going to fly a one-winged plane through the Bermuda Triangle, so he hurls tons of words at me. Some of which I don't really get.

So after stuffing my face with a gazillion calories, I drag my now humongous self back to the driving school where everyone else starts to make laps around the ~~racecourse~~ obstacle course. Except for me and three girls. We were promptly sent to a different obstacle course with no one else on it so as to protect the other students from us and our lack of experience. And so, after putting on a helmets from the selection of various stinks, one of the instructors put me on one of those motorcycles, told me how to operate the killing machine and set me loose onto the obstacle course with the three girls where we practised knocking into pedestrians, running over innocent pets and waving our fists angrily.

This extremely complicated training session consisted mostly of accelerating, stopping, sweating and of course, turning randomly in circles while trying to avoid the evil little pebbles out there trying to unbalance us. Truth be told, the girls were a lot better than me. What? They had experience! I, on the other hand, was learning on the go. They concentrated on twisting and turning and revving and giggling happily, while I concentrated on not knocking into anything or anyone. Of course, I doubt I would even do much damage other than to myself since I was going at an amazing speed of two kilometres per hour. By the way, the bike I was on kept going "butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-butt". Is that odd?

So, at the end of the lesson, the only casualty was my shirt because I accidentally stabbed myself repeatedly with the pen they gave us. Today, I learnt a very important lesson at the driving school: Never play with a retractable ballpoint pen while you're walking and you're swaying your arms.

The Jakers Guide To Surviving The World Cup

2010-06-13T20:58:00.001+08:00

Okay, so it's FIFA World Cup/Soccer World Cup/Football World Cup/whatever-you-wanna-call-it season, and non-fans everywhere are most probably groaning unhappily at the idea of watching a green screen for one whole month. But I'm here to help you get through this traumatic time without the expensive therapy sessions at the end of the event! So here are a few things you can do to prevent yourself from going nuts.

Tip 1 - Hibernate
Prepare yourself by eating like a pregnant whale. Remember to eat things like chocolate bars and stuff like that to help you burn the energy slowly. Then, go to sleep after setting the alarm to wake you up just as the World Cup ends. You'll wake up completely stiff and dizzy, and maybe even with a kidney missing, but at least you didn't have to endure the awful screeches of fans after every goal, right?

Tip 2 - Go On Vacation To A Faraway Land
After packing your bags, you escape to a remote desert island. There, you will live off the land for one whole month along with thirty other non-football-fans. You will also occasionally argue with one another about what else is on the island. But according to television, the other tenants on the island may range from cloned dinosaurs to people who survived a plane crash...

Tip 3 - Immerse Yourself In Trivial Pursuits
These have been scientifically proven to be particularly effective. You get a pastime and you completely immerse yourself in it. Trivial pursuits include knitting for non-existent grandchildren, looking for a cat you don't have and even dressing up as a jovial, fat, old man who gives presents to random people after breaking into their homes.

Tip 4 - Buy Countless DVD's And Watch Them Without Stopping
You get the entire collection of DVD's from Glee, Desperate Housewives, Chuck and whatnot and you tune out the real world and focus your attention on how interesting it would be if these three shows was actually one show. But please make sure no raptors can sneak up on you. Remember, you are on a desert island infested with dinosaurs and people who survived a plane crash. Those are just as terrifying as the raptors. Do you know how dangerous people can be when they miss more than two episodes of their favorite series where spies sing about how they're sleeping with their neighbour's brother's cousin's sister?

Tip 5 - You Get Drunk
Yes, when you're drunk and the world is a big ball of cotton candy, the World Cup will no longer have effect on you. But you will also be oblivious to what is happening around you, and the raptor who stole your kidney will also steal your DVD player.

So, have fun singing Kumbaya with the raptors and the people who survived the plane crash, cause you're gonna' be there for a few more weeks.

A Jakers Interview: Why The Heck Are You Going To China?

2010-06-11T18:38:00.004+08:00

I just can't wait for my year-end escape to China where I can eat all the unhealthy food I want and still be thin. (Because of the winter and stuff) Most of you must be wondering why I'm so excited about running off to a place where they ban Facebook. Well, I'm here to answer those questions! :D Gosh, I sound like a bad talk show host.

What the heck is in China?
Everything that's good. I have a big part of my family over there. There's also awesome food. OMG, I want Peking Duck! *Gnaws on arm* Ahem, sorry. Anyway, there's also snow! Oh gosh, how I miss snow. It's awesome, seeing a snowflake up close.

What's your main reason for running away to China?
Okay, truth be told, I wanna' get away for a while. I need some alone time so I can think for a while before I go to the university of my choice. By the way, if you think you can get me to do a sixth year at my school, you are dreaming. And if you try to do something so dangerous, you should start running.

Is the food as great as you say?
Heck yeah! It's not just the Chinese food that's awesome! There's this bakery chain there that makes the best tarts and their cakes are beyond awesome. And having ice-cream in winter is such a thrill! But refrain from doing so in public if you don't like people staring at you.

Is China really all that interesting? I thought it was all about history and stuff like that.
Yes, there's a lot of history there. But there's like a ton of interesting things to do there. It's not just all about history and dead people.

Oh my gosh! There's also that world expo thing in Shanghai! Are you going?
No, I'm going in December. It's gonna' be over by then. Grr...

What would you do over there?
You'll see me shopping. A lot. In fact, I wouldn't have enough hands for all my bags.

Who's going with you?
I'll be going alone. So if you see ~~a very good-looking~~ someone looking very lost at the airport, help him.

Will you blog about it?
Are you nuts!? Of course I will! The I'm only thing I'm thinking about is how I'm gonna' Tweet from my phone.

Attention citizens of China: If you see a young male carrying more shopping bags than you can count, we advise you to run immediately. You have been warned.

My Water Moments

2010-06-07T14:45:00.005+08:00

All of us bloggers have three all-important things in our arsenal: a computer, an Internet connection and of course, a good camera. :) Cameras are an essential tool because not only does it save bloggers from having to type too much, readers won't have to read that much either! :D So it's a totally win-win situation.

But of course, some camera's are limited to dry land because they don't know how to swim. Either that, or you have to put them in ridiculous-looking plastic casings that might be too big for your hands.

I don't think they're worth the money either. Unless you happen to be a mermaid.

Yes, that is a mermaid.

And being a blogger myself, I should know. With a non-waterproof camera, I can't take any pictures underwater. So if I happened to go on a vacation to Atlantis, I wouldn't be able to bring back any pictures. Unless I borrowed a camera from one of the locals. :D

And since I'm a trigger-happy water-lover, I do take pictures when I'm soaking in pools.

This picture was totally taken above water, cause my phone couldn't swim either. But if I had a waterproof camera, I would have taken a picture that looked something like this.

And with the new Sony DSC-TX5, you can totally take pictures like this! And better! :D The new TX5 is waterproof camera (up to 3 meters) that totally blew my mind when I tried it out. I couldn't stop gasping when the Sony sales-assistant told me about the features. And the sales-assistant couldn't stop staring at me like I was nuts.

Sales Guy: This is the world's slimmest water-proof camera.
Me: Whoa! *Explodes*

Not only was it waterproof, it was temperature-proof as well!

This is the perfect camera for my year-end escape to China! This awesome camera can withstand up to -10ºC and still take amazing pictures! You could be all frozen, and your camera would be okay! I mean, could it get any better?!

And as it turns out, it could. This brilliant piece of technology is also dust proof. OMG, dust bunnies would never stand a chance! Then when the sales assistant told me that it was also shock-proof, he backed up a couple of steps cause I was on the verge of blowing up into tiny, bite-sized bits.

Shock-proof! You could drop it from 1.5m (the usual height for taking pictures) and it'll be okay! If you dropped a person from 1.5m, he'll break his teeth, so technically, this camera is tougher than a person. This is also a brilliant feature cause I keep dropping stuff...

And not only that, it also has Intelligent Sweep Panorama and Handheld Twilight! Which means awesome pictures no matter whenever! Even after the sun has set and you're stuck in a dark dangerous part of town, you could still take great pictures! :D And the shock-proof feature of this camera makes it a rather formidable weapon. :) Who knows? One day, you just might be telling your grandchildren how your camera saved your life.

And it also comes in a variety of attractive colors to suit different personalities! OMG, I just had an epiphany! This phone is so for me!

So, what are you waiting for? Stop looking around like an fool, go get it! Go get this awesome camera cause that's exactly what I would do! Seriously, go get it now cause people are rushing to the stores. Get. It. Now. Before they're all gone cause I just might buy a whole box of these things.

Shortie: That New French McDonald's Ad... Yes, That One

2010-06-04T17:35:00.008+08:00

Note: You MUST watch this video.

As if there wasn't enough reasons to love McDonald's! I think it's just awesome there are people who accept others for everything they are, and not judge them for their preferences. We need more people like the ones who came up with this ad. Cause we don't need any more of the people who spread hatred just because other people are different from us. I mean, everyone's different! We all need to just learn to accept from the heart.

P.S. - I want that guy's hoodie! Sorry, I really meant for this to be a meaningful post but I really really really want that shirt.

What Just Went Through My Head

2010-06-03T14:54:00.004+08:00

Warning: This blog post may suddenly swerve at dangerous speeds to different directions. Mental whiplash may occur.

OMG, my tests are over! And with a two week break ahead of me, I don't know what to do! Okay, so I do know what to do.

Schoolwork. The teachers decided we don't have enough work during schooling hours, so they decided to invade our personal time. And we also have to go back to school for a day cause we're hardworking that way.
Spend some time in Penang. I need retail therapy. And if there's someone who needs some fresh, sea air it's me cause my brain hasn't been working right.
Do some work of my own. My book isn't going to write itself, and I want it published ASAP.
Stay up late. There are so many movies I wanna' watch and now I actually have time to watch a whole movie continuously and not in parts! :D
Not Tweet about tests! Ugh, tests, I hate you.
IM people! My MSN account is filled with people I don't IM. If someone were to IM me, I'd have to ask who they were first...
Do things that are actually worth blogging about! :D Like maybe run across town for no reason! Or do some sort of work that'll make the world a happier place! (Man, that sounds terrible.)
Do something really productive. Like take pictures of myself in different places so I can find a new profile picture for my sites.

Heck yeah, that's what I'll do! :D And there's nothing you people can't do to stop me! Bwahahahaha! *Groans* I can't wait for December when I'll be rolling in snow without a care in the world. I can't wait for China cause their gonna' have a party held just for me! :) Okay, I lied, it's a party for teenagers, but I'm a teenager so I'll just assume it was held for me. Also, I look awesome in winter clothing! And my skin is healthiest in cold weather. I am designed for winter! :D But I just had to be Malaysian... Anyway, I just can't wait for this!

Oh yeah, it's totally waiting for me.

Shortie: I Detest Tests

2010-05-30T14:24:00.003+08:00

You know what? I hate tests. Especially written tests. Why can't they give us a computer and we'll just type out the whole thing?

And another thing. I always get sick before a test. Why? I don't know. It's definitely not nerves because I've been more nerve-wrecked than this. If someone's jinxing me just to get me to flunk, well I hope you flunk too. In fact, I hope your entire bloodline will never succeed at anything they do. Then your family name will become a new word for 'fail'. So there.

Tell Me, Was That My Brain That Ran Screaming Out The Door?

2010-05-11T18:23:00.002+08:00

If you happen to be 17 or above, you'll know what I'm talking about and you probably just went, "Oh, he went to listen to his undang-undang thing." And you're right! Ding ding ding ding! You win nothing.

Anyway, there seems to be some sort of jinx that prevents one from having any amount of fun during your undang-undang. (Known to the rest of the world as Driver's Ed, only more boring) If you don't believe me, then I can do nothing. But it just so happens that the most interesting things there was this worm wriggling on the floor (How in the world did it get in?) and the weather...

Back to the topic, there were tons of things going wrong when I tried to fit in tiny bits of amusement here and there. First of all, I really really really wanted to bring a novel in, but I forgot, so that plan died... And I tried Tweeting but something fishy was going on in there. The signal was perfect, my credits were beyond sufficient and my phone was new. So why couldn't I call someone, send a text or even check with the operator? I don't know. We were within walking distance of a tower, but it was like there was a jammer or something. All I have to say is that thank goodness there were no emergencies or I wouldn't have been able to Tweet about it!

So, that's the story of how I couldn't Tweet or do anything productive during the course. Thank you for reading, now I have to go find my brain. I just hope the drivers at the place didn't run over it. If experienced Malaysian drivers in Malaysia can be that bad, then I shudder to think of the consequences of putting the offspring of said drivers behind the wheel...

You Know You've Bitten Off More Than You Could Chew When You Wish For Someone To Do the Heimlich On You

2010-05-05T19:04:00.004+08:00

Oh... Oooooh... Oooooooooooooooooooh...

No, I'm not turning into a zombie and neither am I taking drugs. So you can stop thinking about that. I'm merely an overworked teenager. Yes, teenagers do get overworked nowadays. Recently, I've been biting off more than I can chew. And if you own a Starbucks, please send me a barista because I need some sugar-charged caffeine. *Slumps onto floor* *Then wakes up*

And if you're curious as to why, I, your usually relaxed, composed and *coughfavoritecough* blogger is suddenly so busy that he can't even find time to check his e-mail, let alone blog? Well, it's because this being the year of my finals, I've been squeezing as much study time as I can into my life. Then there's the ICAS competition which I don't know the date of, then there's this Water Vision thing that's being organized by the MNS and Coca-Cola Malaysia and on top of that, I have tuition classes. (Not exactly something I enjoy, but I'm forced to.)(Not by my parents.)

Oh man, and this Saturday, I have to go attend this driving course. Known to most Malaysians as the Very-Boring-Undang-Undang-So-You-Had-Better-Bring-A-Paperback-Novel Course. Tell me, people who know how to drive/do a wheelie, is it that bad?

Okay, I'll have to stop here for now. I don't want to leave you. This hurts me more than it hurts you, trust me. Oh, it's not you, it's me... Oh...

Okay, I'll go now.

Shortie: How My Day Went

2010-04-14T17:27:00.006+08:00

6.15a.m - Woke up with an upside-down smile.
6.20a.m - Brush teeth, take shower, yawn a lot.
6.35a.m - Sleep in car while dad drives.
7.30a.m - Lessons go on as usual.
8.45a.m - Biology teacher's disembodied voice asks us to get down to one of the school's two basketball courts.
8.55a.m - Stand in sun and listen to stupid lecture about the pail of cold disrespect that my class has dumped on over half 0f the teachers in class. (FYI, I'm innocent. No, seriously.)
9.15a.m - Curse and insult boisterous classmates in French so they don't hunt me down and kill me.
9.55a.m - Eat cheap breakfast because school does not allow Starbucks to establish branch on school grounds.
10.00a.m - Lessons as usual.
12.00p.m - Wrote advice column to help imaginary person who has troubles with a person online who insults and harasses said person. Said person's pseudonym is Bug Bear. (No wonder he got insulted.)
1.10p.m - Take voluntary extra Chemistry class.
3.00p.m - Take shower, eat oats, stick pins into voodoo doll of Joule.
4.00p.m - Study. Get tired. Rub eyes and get up.
5.00p.m - Write blog post. Log into Twitter.
6.00p.m - End blog post with big smile on face. Sigh. Think about when new phone might appear.
6.15p.m - Study more. Sigh.

Funny Things My Friends Say

2010-04-06T18:10:00.006+08:00

Yeah, they do say funny things. Especially Damien! Okay, I admit, conversations with Damien are always hilarious and littered with jokes we don't really remember after two days, but talking with him can be fun. And if you're reading this, Damien, you're probably saying, "What the heck?!" with a funny look on your face.

So, if you don't believe me and don't think that talking with him can be all that fun, well here's a few conversations to prove how fun Damien can be when he's not ignoring you just because you said something wrong. If you don't think it was funny at the end of this post, it could be due to my twisted sense of humour, the fact that I laugh at a lot of things that aren't all that funny, or because you're an dry, old prune of a person and you had your laugh box extracted years ago. (If there aren't such things as laugh boxes, then go sue Spongebob for false information, not me.)

Damien: Hey, how old are you?
Me: Seventeen.
Damien: How long have you been seventeen?
Me: You're not a girl I'm infatuated with, so I can't tell you.
Damien: What the hell?!

Me: Chickens wear perfume!
Damien: Yeah, and cows wear push-up bras!

Damien: Look! He's not wearing underwear! (Friend's name removed to protection.)
Me: And how did you know that?
Damien: *Looks at me funny* Damn...

Me: OMG, did you know that Pegasus is supposed to be the offspring of Poseidon and Medusa!?
Damien: OMG! THAT FLYING HORSE?! REALLY!? WHY IS POSEIDON SO HORNY?!
Me: Uh...
Damien: *Stares wide-eyed at me* And how does a god and a snake person procreate to make a HORSE!?

And yeah, that's not all of the things that spews out of his mouth. But I can't remember the rest, so there. If you want to see if he's really all that funny, come meet him in real life cause the ones here aren't his best ones. (I told you we don't remember them after two days!)

So, now I've gotta' run. Teenagers nowadays have tons of work to do.

It's Time You People Grow Up

2010-03-26T17:26:00.002+08:00

This message is sent to all students graduating high school this year. And if you're a parent, there's a possibility you'll kill me after reading this post.

Yesterday, there was an education fair at my school. And that means a lot of students running around crazily and asking about a million things.

Now, there are tons of things you can do after you graduate. We're living in a time where you can be anything you want. There are a million jobs out there waiting for you, not just the traditional choices like doctor, architect, engineer... There are a lot of opportunities awaiting young hopefuls like ourselves. And we have to make a good choice of what we want to study, because for most of us, we can only pick one thing. A lot of people don't have enough money for two chances, and they just pick one and stick with it. And if that industry happens to be a bad choice for him/her, then the years they spent in college go to waste. It's a sad thing, really.

I've actually said this before, to a friend. I urge all you young, talented people out there, pick something you're talented in, something you're passionate about, something that you have the confidence to do for the rest of your life. And DO NOT let others influence your choices. Not your parents, not your friends, not anyone. I quote Joseph Campbell, "If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path."

And that's the quote you people should take up as a guideline. You're still young, make the right choices cause they're life-changing, don't wait till it's too late because life doesn't have a restart button.

Remember these few things because they are vitally important.

Make your own choices, don't let others make them for you.
Pick something you have interest, passion and confidence in.
Success is secondary to happiness in life. Why? You could pick any job and there will always be risks and chances of failure. And besides, if the job you pick is fuelled by your interest, passion and confidence, then there's a very big chance that you'll be successful.
Monetary gain is important in the world, but should not be the one thing you're focusing on.
Plan your life three steps ahead.
Always have a back-up plan in case that something should go wrong.
Trust in yourself and in God.

There, that's all I can tell you. So, remember this, all you young, talented people out there. Cause in the end, it's your choice, I'm only giving advice, your parents are only there to raise you up the right, and your family and friends are only there to give you support.

So, are you going to make the right choice? Your own choice?

Sorry, I Just Don't Like You :)

2010-03-17T12:20:00.003+08:00

I don't know why. Maybe it's because of some sort of difference in my genetic make-up, maybe it's because they annoy me more than anything would, or maybe it's because they're just inane. I don't like Asian TV series. Or most Asian movies. I repeat, I DO NOT like them. You can call me anything you want, I won't change my mind.

I just don't like them. Be it Japanese, Korean, Taiwanese, Chinese, Singaporean, Malaysian or whatever, they just repel me.

I just don't like watching stupid shows with stupid plots that never change. Every time they come up with something 'new', it just makes it worse. It's true, every time they come on screen, all I want to do is strangle the TV. (Or computer.) But since the designers didn't give these things a neck, I couldn't. So I just sulk, brood and read a book while the rest of my family laugh at their badly thought up scenes. (Which annoys me to no end.)

I know a lot of you typical badly-dressed Asian teenagers out there enjoy watching guys who look like girls talk like idiots to girls who look like guys/mannequins/inanimate objects. And you people can protect them all you want, I won't judge your choices, but all I want to say here is that they disgust me, they repel me, they make me gag. And I think I know why.

They dress as badly as typical Asian teenagers on the streets. The outfits (if they can be called outfits...) make me want to rip my eyes out. But what good would that do me?
The way they act is just so unnatural and wrong. Hello?! Nobody talks like this in real life!
Talking like a retarded mouse is considered 'cute'. *Rolls eyes*
The plots are terribly cliched. Love triangle crap, then yell at inanimate objects, then everybody lives happily ever after? What sort of plot is that? A monkey can come up with a better storyline than this. Wait, let me rethink that... I think the writers might be monkeys...
They are completely recycled. As in everything is used over again and again and again and again...

So now all you people know why I have this burning feeling inside of me every time those idiotic shows come on. Like I'm about to stab someone. But seriously, watch these shows if you guys want to, I couldn't care less if your brains turn into tapioca mush, just don't watch them in close proximity to me, I won't be responsible for any missing body parts.

We Need 25 Hours In A Day

2010-03-05T17:27:00.003+08:00

All of you guys must have noticed, I don't blog as much as I used to anymore. Even Brendan mentioned my lack of new posts in a recent post of his. Either that, or Brendan knows someone else named Jake.

All this because of my lack of time. Anyway, I seriously think we need more time in a day. At least one more hour. But yesterday, I saw this article telling me that the recent quake has left us with a few milliseconds less. Yep, that's right. That Chile quake knocked Earth off slightly it's axis and we now have a few milliseconds less. That's a bummer.

And recently, schoolwork has totally been piling up. And when I'm just about to get my everyday schedule straight... Wham! I get extra classes every week. I'm serious, if I get one more extra class, people had better watch out or they might find that they're missing a limb or something.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

P.S - I'd be totally grateful when the year is over and I run off to mainland China to build an army of snowmen to take over the world when the next Ice Age hits. That is, unless something redundant like National Service tries to stop me. My army of snowpeople will wreak havoc on you and your future generations! You'll see! You'll see!

Ride!?

2010-02-24T17:17:00.004+08:00

Now what type of hypermarket would sell something like this? Hmmm...

Why I Like It Longer

2010-02-12T12:07:00.003+08:00

Now, chocolates are one of the most traditional gifts you can give to a loved one, especially on Valentine’s Day. And the best chocolate I see out there isn’t dark chocolate, not white and neither is it milk. Oh no, this chocolate is far too good to be eaten. It’s the new LG Chocolate. Yep, the new one that’s been turning heads here and there, the one that fashion magazines have been screaming about for months. It’s the supermodel of phones and most people would kill to have it in their pockets, all because it’s one hot phone.

But what people didn’t know about is the twisted love story behind this totally glam phone. And my sources have given me some ultra-juicy stories to tell you. I’m sure you guys are waiting for it all so I’m not going to keep you. So, enter, The Chocolate Life.

We open with Chocolate, the hot new supermodel on the scene that has gotten all the other phones turned into green-screened monsters. They envy her beauty and subtle charm, and they’re totally jealous because she just oozes style. And then there’s this male supermodel phone (assuming phones have genders) who thinks she’s the perfect mate for him. (So very soap-opera I know.)

Andre (Which is the name of the male supermodel phone): Oh Chocolate! We are meant to be!
Chocolate: We can never be together! I’m thin and stylish while you’re too phone-ish!
Andre: But Chocolate, you’re a phone too.
Chocolate: But I’m so much more than that! I’m also the perfect accessory. I match with everything because of my clever color-coordination.
Andre: Oh, then I don’t want to live anymore! *Jumps off countertop and crashes to the floor, shattering.*
Chocolate: No! Why must it be this way? *Sobs*
Then suddenly, a hand comes down and grabs her before she can follow Andre to his terrible fate. She then learns to accept the life of a totally hot phone. And now, she is successful and totally sexy. Just like the supermodel she was meant to be. Just like the supermodel she always has been.

The End.

And that’s that. Wasn’t that so dramatic?! I mean, what with the death of poor Andre, you must let Chocolate go to a suitable owner so she may live the rest of her glamorous life in happiness and style just like it was all meant be. And that owner can be someone like *CoughMECough*
So, that’s the new LG Chocolate for you. Slim, sexy and practically haute couture, it’s the perfect phone for those who love fashion and those who have tons and tons of style, just like the new LG Chocolate. And even Na'vi are going after it and killing anyone who stands in their way with theit bows and arrows ang giant flying things! Well, I'd better go into my hideout, cause no one's going to get near my precious...

The 2010 Grammys Was Shocking (A Very Late Post)

2010-02-03T18:43:00.007+08:00

Note: This is for the people who don't know what happened. I know, it's a very late post... Sorry guys, I was too busy... :( I would have posted up before the newspapers went out if I had the time.

This year, during the Grammys, this is what happened.

OMG! She dropped her Grammy and it broke!

A GRAMMY!

Now, Taylor Swift is my favorite singer of all time and when I heard it on the radio. I went, "Aww... Poor Taylor... :("

But before you do the same, I just want to tell you... She only dropped a prop trophy. A PROP! Because they only reveal the results that night, they have no idea whose name to engrave on the Grammys, so they have to use props. The trophies will then be sent to the winners eventually. Good for you, Taylor. :D

This is the dead trophy. By the way, when she dropped it, a crew member went, "We've got more, don't worry!". Isn't that funny?

Now, I have to go have dinner. Ciao!

P.S.- Congrats to Beyonce, Taylor and Lady Gaga for their big wins! You guys rock!

I'm A Creature of the Night, So Sue Me...

2010-02-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

Okay, you remember Pixie Lott’s song right? You know? Mama Do? Yeah, I knew you’d remember. And you have to remember that line right?
There’s something about the night,
And the way it has all the things I like…
Yeah, don’t blame me if I got it wrong, but I’m just guessing at it.

Anyway, I totally agree with her. I love the night more than the day. Now I’m just going to assume she means the city at night and not a dark secluded field where some Indian movie’s filming one of their many dancing scenes.

So, let me explain why I love the night more than the day. In an alphabetical list!

A- Axe murderers. They are such interesting people, and so misunderstood! So take some time off and talk to one, you’ll be so much more enlightened.
B- Better things to do. Have you tried playing sports in the dark? It’s fun. Especially when your equipment glows in the dark! And when you see someone who glows in the dark? Well, sucks to be you.
C- Cats. They’re really graceful creatures. And they’re nocturnal! So that’s a big bonus.
D- De-stressing. The night is so much more relaxing than the day, don’t you think? And I totally prefer moonbathing to sunbathing.
E- Eggs and sausages for dinner along with some toast. Breakfast for dinner? Well, twilight is the dawn for me.
F- Freedom. Your spirit feels so free at night compared to the day. It really is a magical time in every 24 hour interval.
G- Gotham City’s very own Dark Knight comes out at night. Need I say more?
H- Halloween is celebrated at night. Now isn’t that great? Kids will learn the beauty of the night.
I- Interesting things usually occur after the sun sets. See how the supernatural strikes at night?
J- Jake Lo loves the night. What? I’m a creature of the night, so sue me!
K- Kings and queens usually held banquets for their loyal subjects at night. See? I’m totally in touch with my inner-royal.
L- Losers are not allowed out at night. Because only the strong survive at such a time.
M- Mystery. I just love mystery. It’s so sexy, don’t you think?
N- Nocturnal. I am what I am, you can’t change that.
O- Overhead. The night sky is just so much prettier. During the day, the sky is just… Well, hot.
P- People who come out at night tend to be so much more interesting than the people who come out at day.
Q- Quirks. Night-lovers love everything about the night and also accept its quirks.
R- Run. I tend to have an urge to run whenever I see a long stretch of road at night.
S- Sexy. The night is so much sexier than the day. The day is, well, too bright and perky.
T- Towns. The towns at night are perfectly safe! Don’t listen to those old-wives tales about how dangerous people lurk behind every corner.
U- Universal phenomenon. Everyone’s experienced night before. Okay, I know everyone’s also experienced the day before, so what’s your point?
V- Vampires!!! Yeah, I live in a fantasy world, what are you gonna’ do about it?!
W- Werewolves!!! Can’t have a fantasy world that has vampires but no werewolves now, can we?
X- Xylophones are wonderful night instruments! Okay, so I can’t find a word that starts with X and has something to do with the night…
Y- Yes! I do love the night!
Z- Zoos are so much more exciting at night. Especially if the animals are let out of their cages! Wee!

So there you have it! The whole alphabet now completed into a list of the reasons why I love the night. Maybe you could go outside after the sun sets and see how beautiful the night really is. And guess what? This post was written at night. :D

P.S -But posted near twilight. :(

I'm Slowly Being Murdered, So Help Me...

2010-01-25T17:43:00.007+08:00

Yes, my teachers have come up with this clandestine plan to slowly kill our class with boredom and homework. So, this is a chance to tell you that there are easier ways to kill us. Like with cyanide. Okay, so I've done all my homework and I'm just saying this for fun. Hahahahahah... *Knocks head on wall*

Anyway, I know I haven't been updating as much as I'd like, but I'll just have to find time to blog. All just to entertain you people with the rantings of an almost-17-year-old boy and his insane friends who have mood swings that drive him crazy. *Cough Cough*

So anyway, there's a whole lot of stuff to do right now. I have a book to finish, a stinking project to get over with, and other stuff I can't be bothered to remember. Speaking about work, the Inventions and Design Club is hopeless, so I've decided to scrap all attempts to raise it from the dead because some things are best left lifeless.

Anyway, there's this new SocialVibe widget on the sidebar of my blog. So please, guys, help me save whales from stupid people.

I Have A Busy Life, Therefore I Have None

2010-01-16T18:32:00.003+08:00

Oh gosh, ever since school started I've been work this, books that, it's all a very mind numbing thing. Running here and there and getting all the work done, it's just like I'm an assistant for Anna Wintour. Although I'm pretty sure that would be more fun. Unless Miss Wintour decides to scream at me for drooling all over a Dolce tux.

Anyway, the Open Day thing is over and that means the hard part of being prez is over. And no, I decided not to take pictures because the whole place was hideously decorated, with lots of the ugly paper. (Thank you Leo Club for recycling said paper.) And so, now I only have to focus on my homework. Oh gosh, that horrible horrible homework pile. It's like it's alive. Always growing and growing. I'll bet it's about the size of the Himalayas by now. Complete with snow-capped peaks.

Just like that. And I think I heard the distinct call of mountain goats way up in the Biology Peaks. And then there's this new temple on top of Mount Maths. Why just yesterday a Nepalese monk greeted me early in the morning. "Namaste! Do you mind getting us some incense, we're out."

I know what you're thinking and I'm not procrastinating. I always finish my homework before the deadline. It's just that the teachers keep giving more. But I'm not complaining because if I can't do this, I will never survive college.

Anyway, let's not dwell on the work I've been given because it's all just so emo to complain and complain. Let's now turn our attention to something more sublime. I'm thinking of starting a fashion and lifestyle blog. An expansion of the ever-growing Jakers empire! Mwahahahahahahahah... Um... Right, focus. Why don't I list out the things in my mind right now for you guys, easier for me and easier for you.

I'm going to start a fashion blog as soon as I think of a name. (I'm sure Brendan has a few good ones in mind?)
I'm really obsessed with the clothes I bought last year. Stupid traditions... Having to wait till Chinese New Year... *Grumble grumble*
Chinese New Year! Yes I'm having mixed feelings about it. One is the clothes thing, and the other is the money... Oh um... Pretend you didn't read that.
Twitter is brilliant and that's why everyone should get one and start following me.
I'm going shopping again soon. But it's so hard to find good stores in Kedah. Ugh, the sooner I get out of here the better. (Just like Brendan and that Swinburne place!) The good thing about my predicament is that I just have one more year, and I'm out of here!

So that's just about it, you practically read my mind. So now I have to go because my brother wants the laptop. Ciao, beloved readers!

I'm Being Harassed By Schoolwork...

2010-01-10T15:28:00.009+08:00

Today, I woke up before six. Before six, I tell you! And I slept at 12 last night, do you know how little I slept last night!? Well, let's not talk about this now, lest my lethargic mind decides to work together with my lethargic body to kill Damien for making me wake up before six because our platform was not exactly as we planned it to be. But thank goodness for me, for my delicious handiwork with the fortune candy was a success! They were sold out! Okay, so they were free but that doesn't make them any less brilliant!

Anyway, I have a two hour class later. And I'm sincerely hoping I can actually focus on the numbers. I mean, dozing off in front of my tutor would be just plain rude! And totally not a good thing because this is just the second time I'm going.

So anyway, tomorrow, I might get a good day's rest because it's a relaxing day at school tomorrow because the classes in tomorrow's aren't highly demanding and I don't have any tuition classes after school either. And if by some miracle a store from my favorite fashion chain opens up here, it would be great because I'm in dire need of some retail therapy.

So, I have to get back to my life for now, too bad I can't sleep first...

Anticipation? Not So Much.

2010-01-09T17:29:00.003+08:00

Well, tomorrow's my school's Open Day, and I've got all the souvenirs done. And all the homework with deadlines are done too, so basically, I'm kinda' free now.

So, tomorrow, I give away fortune candy. Apparently, I'm a horrible chef, so instead of baking mounds of evil batter into evil cookies, I decided to play it safe and give away lollipops with fortunes stuck on them. I wrote them myself and I'm hoping people aren't going to be upset by my fortunes. I'm not going to reveal too much, but here's my favorite fortune.

"You should watch Gossip Girl. You'd like it."

It's all because I'm busy and with all the Back-To-School crap, I've got a lot of stuff to do. Well, TTFN.

P.S - Sorry I couldn't make it to school today, you guys! Hang in there!

Shortie: Running All Over The Place

2010-01-05T18:22:00.002+08:00

Well, today, people got me running all over the place. I did some decor, some sketching for a competition and a few discussions about our train wreck of a club. So now, we've decided what to do and we're going to do it right.

Oh gosh, I have so many things to do I don't know if I can get close to the laptop anytime soon. Okay, I might but still, if you're worried, I'll still constantly update my Twitter from my constant companion, my phone.

Anyway, I have to rush off now. Remember to read my Tweets and follow me on Twitter!

I'm In Hot Soup, And It's Mushroom...

2010-01-04T18:47:00.003+08:00

No, this is not an attempt to sneak in some nude pictures of me bathing in soup just so I can boost my cred on the internet. I'm speaking figuratively because you know, hot soup and all that stuff. But it's not all bad because I get to be president! Now people must call me Mr. President and all that! Okay, maybe not.

Yes, I'm now president of the Inventions and Designs Club! It sounds nerdy but it's not! I'm hoping to boost the club's cred by being president because I'm the school's ruler and all that. No, I'm not doing that by posting pictures of me in soup either, so stop asking! Okay, so it's the club nobody wants and I'm just taking it to get the points but that doesn't mean I can't make it bigger! With my winning smile and sparkling personality, I'm sure a lot of people will want to join! Stop rolling your eyes at my apparent self-obsession, my ego needs it.

Anyway, I'm apparently a hopeless president. I didn't even know how to find out the station my club is supposed to be on Open Day until I asked the guy in charge of the whole thing and we were stationed at Platform 13. So now we have to think of the stuff we have to do, and to make up for my absence this Saturday when everyone's going to work their butts off, I'm going to do the tiny gifts that we give away! And thank you Damien for helping me with all this stuff! I know I've said you were crazy and all that, but you're one of the best friends I've ever had! And you're also the best deputy a president can ask for! Seriously! And you have the best wife! Tell Lady Gaga she's a lucky person to have you! (Wow, I'm good at flattery.)

Well, five more days to go. And I have to go now. Look out for my Tweets and pictures!

School's Starting Again, Oh Well...

2010-01-02T18:42:00.004+08:00

So, school starts again tomorrow. Bad news, I have one more year with the stuff at school. One whole year of being surrounded by monkey people whose only thoughts on graduation are turning eighteen, drinking without being caught, and driving. That should be disastrous, because everyone knows monkeys can't drive. Seriously! I'm really looking out for a spike in the stats of on road -and off road- accidents. That's why I'm flying out of the country until the mayhem dies down. Although I estimate that should be when they all turn 40 and they are no longer being manipulated so strongly by their hormones. I say 'they' because one of my resolutions is to be bitten by a vampire remember? So I'll still be 17 when they're middle-aged and whatever...

Anyway, the good news is, just one more year! Woo hoo! One more year of being surrounded by mediocrity and I'm out of this place! No more ghastly uniforms, no more ridiculously ignorant people whose idea of a party night is a few glasses of cheap beer and being stung by mosquitoes so bad their hangovers are ten times worse the next day due to loss of blood, and last but not least, no more silly rules that have no merit whatsoever. But yeah, I'll miss a few of my mates, but I'll keep in touch with the people I do like, so that's not a problem.

Ah... This year, I'll become more than I ever was before. And after that, I'll be even better year after year. Good luck, guys. It's a new year and I hope God lights the way for us.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T18:03:00.002+08:00

Okay, so I know it's just New Year's Eve, but cut me some slack, I've just been cheated out of some shopping day and I'm feeling empty inside. Or, it could just be because I'm hungry. Anyway, let's forget my empty stomach for a moment and take a look at my New Year resolutions!

No, I'm not going to do all of them, I'll just pick a few. Anyway, here are my New Year resolutions!

Study more often.
Be more kind to people. (Although I'm already very kind, I suppose it wouldn't kill me to be kinder to people I dislike.)
Look better. Why yes, I realize I look pretty good now but I can always look better.
Not care about what my schoolmates think about me, they're all idiots.
Ask a vampire to bite me.
Finish my book.
Do more of the things I want to do.

So, yeah, those are my New Year resolutions. I might not be anywhere to count down the last few seconds to 2010, but Happy New Year to my readers!

Jakers Fun Facts

2009-12-30T19:00:00.003+08:00

I am an average teenager. *Hides gun*
I do not have a gun and I have not killed anybody. *Dumps body in the back of car to be buried later*
I think my schoolmates are alien monkeys in disguise.
I think Nike design good stuff. (But if you're another sports brand about to ask me to write an advert, then you're the best brand out there!)
I drink a lot of fluids every day.
Disco sticks are... I'm not going to say this, if you want to know, ask Damien.
I prefer furry animals to fish, because they're more cuddly. (You try cuddling a fish!)
I have a few true friends, and I love you guys for always being there for me. (There is just no other way to say this without sounding emo.)
I'm going to Penang tomorrow! (See you there, Chester!) (If you are there.)
I'm a shopaholic. (It's like I'm a magnet for malls. I gravitate toward the magical.)
I don't drink beer. It kills brain cells.
I know a few underage drinkers who put pictures of them drinking on Facebook. (So what? It's just beer.)
I look good in white, black, grey, off-white... You get the picture!
I like food, although I could do without the extra pounds I put on.
I'm not what I seem to be. (No, I'm not Hannah Montana so you can stop assuming that I am even though I'm blond.)
Okay, I'm not blond.
If I were to dye my hair, it would be a very dark copper shade.
I'm going to Penang tomorrow. Sorry, did I say that already?
I'm sad Christmas is over.
My Christmas tree is still up.
If I were to be bitten by a vampire and damned to an eternity of being an Edward Cullen type being, I'd thank the vampire who bit me.
I think somebody should invent 0 calorie food.
It's been a while since I've tested my IQ level, should be up a few points.
I really hate Asian girls who pretend to be innocent and all that. *Pukes* (Come on, we all know better.)
I have to go now.

Shortie: Only One Frigging Hoodie!!!

2009-12-28T14:36:00.003+08:00

Yes, you've heard right. I only bought one hoodie from this English store for myself this Christmas. Only one item of clothing that will probably last me a few years. Yes, it's sad. But it's because I couldn't see anything good. But let's not dwell on the past before I gorge on more chocolates. (I have a sudden craving for Peanut Butter Kit-Kats) Anyway, let's take a look at this talented girl I saw on the streets performing alongside a violinist. She's from Russia and I'm sorry I didn't remember your name. But I can make up for that in publicity.

Anyway, here goes!

I hope you enjoyed that. Now I'll just go off and look at the other clothes I bought. Oh, yeah, I didn't buy them on Christmas so I didn't lie. TTFN a Happy New Year to you!

P.S - Go meet the virtual me me up there!

Shortie: Merry Christmas Everyone!

2009-12-24T23:57:00.003+08:00

And Happy Hanukkah to the the Jews! It's another Christmas! (My 16th) While some of us are in Kuala Lumpur happily shopping, I'm stuck with Penang. So tomorrow, I'm going to douse my sorrows in shopping. Why yes, retail therapy does work! This excellent form of psychological help has been tried and tested by people like May-Zhee, Paris Hilton, Chester Chin, and of course, yours truly.

Anyway, just now, my mom was looking through her purse for some extra and useless weight and she found some. An expired credit card. So we decided to discard of it promptly. Since she had to go out for some errands, I was left with the burden of carrying out the murderous task. The elemination of that credit card, and then the disposal of the body... *Now the audience (that's you) gasps in horror and excitement*

Look at how horribly chopped up it is!

It's so horrifying! *Gasp gasp gasp!*

And of course, it being Christmas Eve, I decided to have a bit of Christmas spirit and turn it into this. Well, Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you enjoyed my little post.

Now, I have to go plan my raid on the stores in Penang. Care to join me, anyone? I've been meaning to buy another shirt.

Shortie: Goodbye To The 00's

2009-12-24T14:53:00.005+08:00

How sad it is to bid farewell to the 00's. It's like saying goodbye to a good friend. And while I bid farewell to my 16th year on Earth and face the coming of my 17th, let's take a look at what happened in this beloved time. Just click on the link, and you'll be transported to The Vibe where there's a list of what happened. So go on, the 00's are coming to an end, it's apt that we bid it farewell because it's never coming back.

We know we've been through a lot during these times. I know I have, and I appreciate the fact that you guys were behind me ever since this blog started, and I thank you for that. But now let's take a look at what happened that changed the world and what happened that will be remembered for a long long time. Let's take a look at what that made a mark in our lives and what that made a mark on our world. Let's take a look at what we all experienced. So come on, click on the link, we have to bid our friends goodbye, because this is your last chance to.

Our Farewell To The 00's

flymas.mobi – as Easy as 1, 2, 3

2009-12-23T14:12:00.007+08:00

Hey you people? I know we all need a break every once in a while and while some of us are content with spending a few days at home watching reruns of Dynasty, the rest of us crave adventure. And I don't mean digging in the backyard for worms. People like me prefer to get far far way from our everyday lives. Yes, we like going to faraway and exotic places where none of our nosy friends and neighbours get to gossip about us.

But, some of us might be too lazy to get to the computer to book a flight to Australia. So we just turn over to Discovery's Travel and Living and pretend we're at wherever the channel's showing at the time. Or even buy your own Lego set and pretend it's all real. But is that really a good choice?

Luckily for us, we now have flymas.mobi! It's a brilliant, mobile site where you can book your flights and check all necessary details from your mobile phone! Isn't that so ultra-convenient!? Gone are the days we have to pay the price for our extreme laziness! Now, all we have to do is whip out our phones and with a few clicks, we're on the first steps to planning the perfect vacation!

Now Malaysians can book flights with MAS anywhere they want from their phones! Try it yourself! Just access http://flymas.mobi/ and you’ll be able to navigate your way through it easily as the site is built for mobile access!

With just a few keystrokes, you can get to this brilliant page! Everything is so organized and perfectly simple!

They have timetables for your convenience and you can now easily set the dates for your dream vacation with just the help of your opposable thumbs! :D

And for the thrifty people, you can easily check out the deals and offers! Look at those prices! They are absolutely irresistible!

You can even check the flight status from your phone! It's so convenient for us jet-setters!

You can even check your bookings! I am so amazed by it's easy convenience! Aren't you?!

And if you feel really paranoid and you need to check the flights with another human being, just click on the contacts button and Bam! You get the numbers to the Malaysian Airlines Call Centres! And if you feel really paranoid and don't trust technology at all, then you can look for the MH Office closest to you at the moment! MAS thinks of everything!

Of course, the point of all this is so you could fly off faraway easily, so they included a page where you could book your flights with just a few keystrokes! Imagine the possibilities! You could fly off to Shanghai, then Tokyo, then New York with only your phone as your travel agent!

But of course, the nightmare of all travelers... Missing baggage! That problem is solved too! Now, you can eaasily trace your baggage at a moments notice! As soon as you think you're bag isn't among the multi-colored hoard of chaos, all you have to do is turn to your phone and flymas.mobi for help!

Now with flymas.mobi, you can do all these things anywhere you want!

With your friends! Planning to run off with your best friend to follow your favorite band around the world on their next tour? Use flymas.mobi so people will think you're just texting and not planning your next stalking tour of Maroon 5.

You can even book flights from your car on your way to the airport! (Though this is strongly discouraged.)

You can even book a flight to get away from your selfish sister who won't lend you her PSP.

Or like me, you can book a flight from class to get away from your extremely dull teacher who thinks deer antlers are aphrodisiacs because they're 'horny'...

You can even book flights to the next fashion show that just happens to be halfway across the globe. Who knows? You just might sit next to Paris Hilton.

So yeah, you could be on that plane jetting away to locations unknown if only you would fish out your phone and move your fingers. Just remember, flymas.mobi! It's the perfect mobile site for you if you're constantly on the move. So now, I'll end this post with a picture of me using my phone to book my flights. Be more like me! Use flymas.mobi.

Shortie: You Will Not Believe Until You See...

2009-12-20T16:26:00.002+08:00

OMG... The most shocking thing ever since Lady Gaga's debut has finally come. It was only a matter of time that someone would try to trump the queen of shock with even more shock.

I tried telling Damien (a Lady Gaga cult member) but he wouldn't listen, that his queen has someone else attempting to take her throne. i had trouble comprehending it at first, in fact I was speechless. So here, the most shocking thing since Lady Gaga's debut, I give you...

Lady Gaga's Christmas Album...

Remember! You heard the news from me first! Jake Lo!

Jake's Christmas Wish List

2009-12-17T17:16:00.010+08:00

Hey all! All of you must know that Christmas isn't that far away and most of you might already be doing your Christmas shopping. Some of you might also have already done all your Christmas shopping.

Anyway, considering the fact that I wouldn't really get a lot of presents, I'm buying for myself with my own money. But apparently, some of the stuff here can't be bought with money. But anyway, here's my 2009 Christmas Wishlist!

1. Number one on my list is good grades. In fact, I don't really want perfectly good grades, I just need them to have a passing grade. Yes, I'm satisfied with a passing grade.

2. The second item on my list, is an iPhone 3G S. It has pretty much everything in it! A computer, a phone, an iPod, it's an amazing gadget. Not one word, Blackberry lovers.

3. Third place on my list is books. As I've said before, a bookaholic cannot survive on old material alone. Luckily, there's a book fair tomorrow at this mall I know.

4. Number 4 on the Jakers Wishlist is designer sunglasses. But not just any old sunglasses, they have to be genuine items. Not some random counterfeit thingy that breaks apart the moment you touch it.

5. Number 5 and last on the list is the chance for me to write a Nuffnang advertorial. You know, the extremely rare and extremely profitable money-earning Nuffnang thingy? Yes, that takes number 5 on my list.

So that's it, I'm now off to do something else, like pray that Wish Numero Uno will come true. See you all later! :D And Merry Christmas!

Shortie: Emergency! You Must Look! It's A Chance Of A Lifetime! Easy Chance At 15 Seconds Of Fame!

2009-12-15T18:47:00.012+08:00

OMG! Join SocialVibe now and do the MTV Staying Alive Foundation activity and you might just get yourself up on a giant digital billboard in Times Square. Yes! The Times Square in New York!

Go now! Go now! Go now! This is your shot at 15 seconds of fame! This is no joke! I repeat! This is no joke! Here's a picture to prove it!

Go now! I'm going to go take my picture! Can't type more... Just go to http://www.socialvibe.com/ and then get yourself a frigging account and then do the activity! Don't say I didn't notify you guys! Go now! You too, May-Zhee!

A Jaker's Vacation: Thailand

2009-12-15T15:59:00.016+08:00

My annual trip to KL was postponed to next year. So, I'll be there come Chinese New Year, but until then, I'll have to make do with irregular trips to Penang. And hopefully find the books I want because us bookaholics can't live on old material alone.

Anyway, here are the pictures I took in Thailand! Woo hoo! About time, right? I know, but sadly, there was something wrong with maybe around 11 of the pictures and I couldn't save them in time. So consequently, I'm left with 56. Anyway, let's start reliving my trip to Thailand! And this time with you guys along for the ride! :D

Day 1

We set off at around 9a.m or something, then stopped by my cousin's house to bring his wife and kid along. This lake is actually a dam. I mean, it's huge! I've never seen anything like that before! Yes, I have been to Thailand more than once but this was a different route so this was the first time I saw this monster dam.

This is the hotel lobby where we checked in at 2p.m after an extremely hot and long walk in this Thai market thing where they sell practically everything. The air-conditioning in our car was busted too, so you can imagine our relief when we stepped into the air-conditioned confines of Novotel Centara Hat Yai. Why yes, we stayed there. What, you don't think I can put up with anything less than 4 stars do you? *Looks away snobbishly*

This is the aunt I was talking about who came all the way back from China for the wedding. Yes, she wore that because she thinks comfort comes first before looks. then there's my brother hiding behind the aforementioned "cousin's kid". We were eating at Sizzler, my favorite joint in Thailand.

When we were done we started looking around this shopping centre, and this particular outlet caught my eye. Chester! I didn't know you owned a coffee chain!

Anyway, according to this giant LED screen, this is the world's largest Chinatown, so I took loads of pictures.

Day 2

Yes, we went swimming at the hotel pool. I told you I was going swimming when I get the chance, remember the calories who had friends?

The calories came back in the end when I had breakfast that day at this Tesco where we waved our hands a lot when we were ordering.

Person at counter: *What sounded like gibberish to me.*

Me: *Blinks* Uh... That one, please. *Points*

Person at counter: *Points* *Asks what I assume is a question asking me whether it is the one he's pointing at*

Me: *Blinks twice* No, no that one! *Points*

This went on for a while, so let's skip to the next part.

On the way up this hilltop temple, I daringly stuck my arm out the car window that was rolled down to compensate for the dead air-conditioner to take this picture.

And this one too. I am so nice to risk my safety just to entertain you guys with pictures.

I tried out my phone's panorama function for this one. The sun was in my eye so I practically couldn't see where I was going, let alone take a perfect photo! I mean, I was on a cliff for goodness's sake! I was busy looking for a good place to stand on, so pardon me if this picture is flawed.

The view was great up there, so I went crazy snapping.

See, this panoramic picture is better than the last one! How do I do it?

Oh, and at this part on the hill, there was this eagle/hawk/falcon/what do you think it is? And you know how city kids are, I took pictures because I don't exactly see them everyday up close.

This is the eagle telepathically communicating with the owner. I think he's telling a joke about me cause the owner guy is grinning.

Oh, and there was this floating market thing in Hat Yai too! They had some cool things...

Like these good peope selling whatever they were selling in their boats.

I had another smoothie thing at this boat/stand and I found out it tasted exactly like the one I tasted earlier that day! At half the price!

And in a bigger cup too! And the guy keeps smiling! See? Service with a smile! And a boat!

Okay, those are the smallest fried eggs I've ever seen. I think they were quail's eggs or something.

Oh, see that! She was selling these jelly candies that looked like tiny fruits and vegetables!

My aunt asked me to take this one so she could go back to China and tell all about it to her Chinese employees.

Group photo! Excluding myself.

I daringly stuck my hand out again to take a picture of the customs! See the long line? We had to wait like ten minutes before the guy there said we were missing a stamp on our border passes! Quelle horreur! Is Jake writing this post from a Thai jail cell? Worry not, because we got things settled when they realized it was their mistake. Then that night we had this seafood dinner at this ancient eatery.

Anyway, that's all for this post. See you guys soon!

The Wedding That Had Me Worn Out

2009-12-14T14:37:00.007+08:00

Hey everyone, the pictures you've patiently waited for are now published online! Okay, so I only took a few because the stinking phone memory was full and the other pics I took weren't good enough so I didn't post them up. But anyway, the good pictures are now on this very blog, so enjoy! :D

That's the groom's brother and the groom's sister in-law, this was taken on the night of the first wedding reception. The one before the actual wedding.

On the day of the wedding, we took part in a thrilling car chase! With my mother behind the wheel, we gave chase to the groom. He was in a Honda Accord, not this car you see in the picture...

He went farther and farther, until all we could see was this Perodua Myvi. But no matter, we will catch up!

Oh no! We couldn't get past before the train came! Will we catch them?

Okay, we did. But I don't have pictures of our success, so make do with your imagination.

Oh, this one was taken at the second wedding reception, the one after the actual wedding. Do you see the adorable face in the spoon? FYI, it appeared by itself! I didn't make it or anything! Isn't that weird?

Then, on the night of the wedding after the second wedding reception, we went out to dinner at this cool Balinese restaurant. And there was this fishtail in the middle of the road! I mean, where did it come from? The sky? I don't remember a forecast that day that said look out for fishy body parts falling from the sky. This is some fishy business (pun intended)... Perhaps it's just one of those odd mysteries we'll never solve...

Anyway, look out for posts about my trip to Thailand very soon! I took a lot of pictures for this one! See you guys soon! This is Jake running off to look for more community colleges because UCLA doesn't accept freshmen.

Shortie: Wedding Reception, Wedding, Then Wedding Reception Again...

2009-12-06T23:58:00.003+08:00

OMG, I feel so frigging tired right now. The second wedding reception came to a happy ending today. Well, it all started yesterday. The wedding reception was a dinner affair. Where we all ate tons of food. Then this morning was the wedding, which was followed by the wedding reception in the afternoon. You know how it is, you go from here, then you go there, then here there here there and then you know the whole city like the back of your hand.

Anyway, I took some pictures of what happened and a few of myself *CoughCough*... Anyway, the whole thing was pretty cool and there was a lot of food. And because of that, the calories I burnt away in the last gym workout came back... And they brought friends... Well, as soon as I have the time, I'm going swimming again.

Oh, you guys are waiting for the pictures? Um yeah, I haven't edited them yet so I'll say they may be ready by tomorrow. Don't worry, I will post them up very soon! What?! Don't get sassy with me, I'm a very busy person! I still have to get my border pass done tomorrow for the trip to Thailand! But like I said, not to worry because the pictures are going to go up as soon as i'm done editing them! So now, I have to go to bed cause I had a very long two days. Goodnight!

P.S - I endured this for two days, the bride and groom endured it longer and they don't sleep until 3a.m. How do they do it?

Shortie: Wedding Reception Thingie

2009-12-05T17:57:00.003+08:00

Hey guys! I'm off to the wedding reception very soon! No, my cousin isn't married yet, the wedding's tomorrow. But get this, he's having two receptions and I'm going to both! All the more fun for me and all the more stuff for me to update!

Don't worry guys! I'll take loads of pictures and tell you guys all about it, because who doesn't love weddings? Even if it's just being talked about on the Internet by yours truly.

Anyway, don't worry because I'll be updating LIVE on Twitter at the wedding reception, the wedding, and the second wedding reception tomorrow! So remember to check up on my Twitter for constant updates on what's happening and what I'm doing! Got to go now! See you guys later tonight!

Shortie: Someone's Birthday!

2009-12-03T14:05:00.003+08:00

Hi guys! I'm rushing this post before Joule drags my screaming self to the gym...

Do you remember the aunts I mentioned who were coming back from Shanghai for my cousin's wedding? Well yeah, today is the birthday of one of those aunts! Why yes, it's Aunt Susan's birthday! So all you guys better wish her a good birthday! Since she's not here right now, she can't have a cake so I'm posting up this post as a virtual gift to her! But of course, this doesn't really count that much so I promised her a feast when we get to Penang this Saturday.

So now, Joule's threatening me with a gun and says if I don't get out of this chair right now he's going to shoot me in the head. So yeah, see you guys real soon! TTFN.

Shortie: Paper Wonders is Fixed

2009-12-03T13:34:00.002+08:00

Hey people! Here's another Shortie update! Man, there have been a lot of Shorties recently... But, as Brendan has said, I'm busy busy busy! Yes, I'm always busy during December, lots of stuff to do. But that's not the point of this Shortie. Anyway, as you all know. Or at least, some of you know, that Paper Wonders has experienced some technical difficulties and they have been fixed recently. The comment box is now available to everyone and please do drop by and leave comments. I'm going to add a chatbox soon so all bookaholics can chat and suggest books to be reviewed!

So yeah that's about it, the busy busy me has to go now! Must get to the gym soon! See you soon guys! Oh, and if you have any suggestions or complaints about Paper Wonders or the Jake Lo blog, please do comment here or at Paper Wonders. So, see ya'! *Runs off*

Shortie: A Shortie Update!

2009-12-01T16:32:00.002+08:00

So as most people may know, the holidays are here. As usual, I'm spending it doing loads of stuff. And I mean, loads. Of course, I'm not complaining because as soon as I'm graduate secondary school, I'm off to take the IB course (if I can, which means I can) and everyone knows the IB is not light work. Anyway, here's a list of all the things I'm doing this school holiday.

Constantly updating my blog, Twitter and all my online business and stuff.
Continuing my book's storyline.
Swimming, going to the gym, yelling at Joule to life more weights and to stop bugging me, and yelling at Damien to stop swallowing rubber ducks. Quack!
Playing with my Playstation.
Go to Penang almost every weekend.
Attend weddings and wedding receptions.
Travel.
Fetch important people at train stations and airports and them send them to train stations or airports.
Do charitable work and then more charitable work.
IM with important people, and stuff... etc.

So that's about it, so I'll update soon cause the fun's about to start. So here's another list of what to expect!

Coming Up!

Is that wedding bells I hear? My cousin's wedding is coming up soon and it's going to be fun for everyone, I'll take pictures and stuff so you guys don't miss out!
My aunts are coming back to Malaysia from China for the wedding, I'm going to write about them too cause they're every bit as much fun as the wedding.
Me, my aunts and the rest of my family are going off to Thailand for a little trip! So it's au revoir to Malaysia very soon and hello to exotic Thailand! Expect great pictures!
And just because, I'm going back to the only place in Malaysia where I truly feel at home, Kuala Lumpur! Of course, my true true home is New York but I'll have to make do with KL cause it's well, the only place in Malaysia that has a smidge of a resemblance to New York.
Of course, tradition is important, and like every self-respecting human-being on earth, I celebrate Christmas! Look out for my Christmas posts, and they're going to be up real soon because it's already December, my Christmas tree is up and I still have Christmas shopping to do!

So that's all for now, I'll see you guys real soon! Tanti baci a tutti!

Shortie: Reasons Why You Must Twitter

2009-11-29T16:17:00.002+08:00

A list of good reasons compiled by Jake Lo on why you should get a Twitter account and start Tweeting immediately.

It's good fun.
Jake has it, Chester has it, Brendan has it, May-Zhee has it, Ashton Kutcher has it, Lady Gaga practically everyone who's anyone has it.
It's cheap.
You'll be able to get to famous people who use Twitter.
You'll be able to tell everyone things that you don't usually tell anyone. (Like May-Zhee...)
It's featured everywhere, like here, on Jake Lo .
You can stalk people with it.
You can read about the going-ons in other peoples' lives. Like the ones you don't really care about.
It's easier to use and easier to update than a blog.
You must follow me on Twitter.

A Random Update With Random Pictures I Took At Random Times

2009-11-22T15:10:00.003+08:00

So, I was looking through some pictures and I decided that I'll post them up online so people may see how things are recently! No, I did not take pictures of Mr. Shirt-Off-Dancer so just get on with it.
Yes, my dad can drink through his ears but he says it gives him brain freeze if it's too cold.

And here's a glass of Coke chatting up a can of Coke.

Can: Hey babe, how's it going?
Glass: Just because I'm wearing transparent clothing doesn't mean I'm a hooker!
Can: But I didn't say...
Glass: Take that you sleazebag!

And then the glass started beating up the can with its straw. Yes, it's an insane glass of Coke.

Even the giant bottle of Tabasco sauce was afraid. See? It went into hiding and the restaurant owners are still looking for it.

And here, is a very fearless butterfly ignoring me, the menacing thing with a strange square box pointed at it.

Anyway, that's all for now. I have to go and do something ridiculous like date a kangaroo.

The 24 Hours Before This Post...

2009-11-17T11:27:00.003+08:00

Okay, so the people who Follow me on Twitter must know this by now the things that happened in the last 24 hours. Some very interesting but not very sexy things. I don't know why but I just felt like saying that. Anyway, this is the Tweet that told the world of one very interesting person I saw last night.

"Oh my gosh! There's an Indian guy who threw down his shirt and started dancing in the middle of the road!"

Yes, that's right. A random Indian guy threw off his shirt, threw it on the ground and ran out into the middle of the road and started dancing. I was in the car, my dad was driving and mind you, he was dancing in the middle of a junction so if he were to be ignored by everyone, he would have been a bloody patty on the ground that the cleaners would have to scrape off with a shovel. Anyway, my dad very nearly knocked him over. But let's get on with the story.

He was there and pushing this woman who I assume must be his mother and she kept pushing back and stuff. Which was when he threw down his shirt and ran into the middle of the road and started gyrating. Anyway, I think the guy was drunk or something.

So here's the conversation between me and Damien when I texted him about this. Damien being Damien obviously made this conversation worth blogging about.

Me: Oh my gosh! There's an Indian guy who threw down his shirt and started dancing in the middle of the road!
Damien: He's a street dancer or a random mad guy?
Me: A random mad guy, and there's this random mad woman who keeps pushing him. The woman was angry mad while the guy was crazy mad. Maybe she wants to Drag Him To Hell?
Damien: Hmm... Maybe that mad woman wanna' kill that guy pushing him to the middle of that road and that guy keeps evading.
Me: Then why did he take his shirt off and started dancing?
Damien: Yeah, warning the drivers about his presence and that dancing's just probably a ritual kinda' thing.
Me: Oh, anyway, I'm gonna' watch Drag Me To Hell later, I think.
Damien: DVD? You bought it already?
Me: Yeah, anyway, the random mad guy dance was practically next to our school.
Damien: Gosh! Does he look like (Teacher's name cannot be revealed online to protect a certain Lady GaGa fan...).

Up until here, I forgot which way our conversation went so I'll continue it somewhere around here...

Damien: He still there?
Me: No, I think the woman Dragged Him To House and gave him hell.
Damien: Haha... Think they're making a part 2.
Me: Yeah, the girls can have shirtless scenes while the guys can have action and horror.
Damien: Girls can be shirtless in horror movies too.

Anyway, that was basically it. So people, please take note that if you don't know what to write about, go outside and take a look around, cause you might just see a random shirtless mad guy being pushed by a random mad woman into the middle of the road.

I'm Back To Rocking Your Lives!

2009-11-12T15:49:00.004+08:00

Hi! I'm back and better than ever! With an adrenaline rush left after the tests, I don't know when all this energy is going to run out so I'd better be quick about this shouldn't I?

Anyway, remember before the tests, I promised you guys a few pictures of what my friends look like? And the gym and all that stuff? Well, it's right here! Except that I can't give you Damien's picture because he's going through plastic surgery. Heck no, he says he'll flag my blog if I put his picture up online. So I'll just sneak his Facebook URL somewhere in here so you can find out for yourself what the deranged madman looks like.

So here goes, a few random and badly-taken photos because I'm a fat cat. Sorry, just wanted to say that. Meow.

This is one of my oldest and bestest friends, Joule. He says that new Black Eyed Peas album was named after him because Energy Never Dies, and he's well, Joule...

This is kind of view I usually have when I'm on the treadmill, a view of a road and unoccupied buildings.

And this is a very random picture that I took at 6.50 a.m on a very cloudy morning. I have no idea why I put it here but you are going to like it.

And now for the small update about the past few weeks when I was absent from the blogosphere! Wait, no that one's out because there was just a lot of studying and me being sick. Seriously, I puked. You can find a post of that on my Twitter.

Anyhow, I'm going to sign off for now because I can feel myself nodding offffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I Think The Jewish Call It "Sabbath"

2009-10-24T18:33:00.004+08:00

Hey people! I'm writing this post to tell you guys, like fellow blogger Chester Chin and various other bloggers around my age - meaning that their age ends with a "-teen" - will be taking a short sabbatical. But let me tell you what will be happening during my absence from the blogosphere.

There will be a test, that covers 50% of this year's overall grades. I will be studying for said test and will obviously be worn out, busy and irritable. So I think none of you will be wanting to hear me complain about trying to murder my teacher for being so "creative" when preparing the test. But of course, a person like moi will never desert my people. I will be Twittering constantly on the going-ons that dominate my life.

Anyway, to get you through the troublesome void left by me, you will probably be doing something like IM-ing or texting. But be careful not to go over the edge. You don't want to get one of these.

So, ciao! See you in three weeks.

Peer Pressure Is Nothing To A Guy Like Moi

2009-10-20T17:46:00.007+08:00

Hey all, I know I haven't been blogging for a while and I'm so sorry. I have all these tests coming up, loads of homework and... Yeah, I know. Being a teenager is hard work. But at least I have minus one horror compared to other teenagers my age. Peer pressure.

Yep, I'm lucky that way because peer pressure is as non-existent in my life as an overweight supermodel in the fashion industry. I mean, how do people get peer pressure in the first place? I wouldn't know, but here's the deal, I'm happy with who I am, sure I have a few shortcomings but I'm working hard to make myself a better person. Besides, I feel confident enough because I know, not feel, know that in a way, I'm better in than my peers in many different aspects. Sure, this guy's smarter, that guy's more buff, but don't you dare think that you can even match my standards in personality, charisma and style. Don't you dare think.

So here I am, saying that I don't feel any peer pressure because I know who I am, and I love myself the way I am. And a teensy part of it is because giving in to peer pressure would be trying to fit in, and why in the world would I wanna' fit in with gag-worthy people?

Anyway, let's get past that peer pressure nonsense, people get ready for something new because I'm just itching to write something on this. So, some of you might have tuned in to my Tweets and a lot of those are somehow connected to me and my gym time. So, get ready for a little update about me, my thing with the gym and a certain gym buddy of mine that has never been featured on this blog ever before. Never.

So remember to tune in! Man, I sound like some TV voiceover that tells you to watch some random show... And how much do you think that would pay? Hmm...

Shortie: Your Pick

2009-10-08T18:03:00.004+08:00

Hey guys, hope you've noticed that Paper Wonders is finally starting off and my first review was on The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Keep a sharp lookout for the next review, Life of Pi by Yann Martel.

But for the next review, I'm going to let you pick! Give me a title, and I'm gonna' write a review on it and let you know what I think.

Depends on what the blogger has on his bookshelf at the time.

You're A Bad Person

2009-09-27T17:55:00.004+08:00

"You know, whalers should just go drown themselves."

-Jake Lo being angry with whalers.

Okay, most people might know that I'm a really earth-loving person. Every time there's a charity drive or something, you'll always see me at the ones that have something to do with wildlife and the environment. Now, some people would find this puzzling. Why do I support an animal or environment charity instead of the other charities for sick people, or poor people, or whatever that has to do with people. Well, humans at least. Because animals, in their own right, are people too.

Of course, I'm not saying that I'm not going to support human welfare. It's just that if I'm limited to one charity, the environment and animals will always be my priority. No doubt, you'd be asking "Why?". Well, the answer to that question is like a good outfit, simple and true.

Humans don't deserve it. Simple, as that. Humans do not deserve it. It's a terrible truth isn't it? Considering the fact that we are human and all. But it's still truth. You can't deny it. We humans are terrible creatures. We do the worst things ever. We are the worst. We're selfish, uncaring and inconsiderate. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

What do we need ivory for? Decorative purposes? Just count how many elephants had to die in this picture. So please, just say no to illegal wildlife products.

And is shark fin's soup really all that great? Delicious, eh? News flash bub, that fin is just for texture. It doesn't add taste, it isn't for nutrition. Say no, I do. I don't care if it's at some wedding, or it's free, it's just not right. Imagine it, sharks have been here for millions of years and they're dying out in a few decades because of your hungry stomach. So yeah, don't offer me shark's fin soup if you don't want a black eye.

And turtle's eggs, just count how many unborn and endangered creatures have to die just to stuff your selfish mouth.

Get it now? Humans are bad. I'm sorry if I offend you but I'm telling you the whole truth. Like Eminem and his songs.

But hey, there's still hope for redemption, we can still change. So stop doing these things, you can make an impact.

Or maybe be part of a a good old organization like SocialVibe, help out by sreading the word. Have nice buttons like those on my sidebar. You don't even have to spend a penny! They even give you free perks, like bags and shirts. Get involved in good charities like the World Wildlife Fund (WWF). Do whatever you can.

Because remember, animals and the environment have no voice to speak for themselves, so we have to do it for them.

Jake Lo & Cameron Highlands

2009-09-24T09:15:00.011+08:00

Hey, most people are probably wondering where I've disappeared to. Did I get lost just like my book did? Did I get bitten by vampires and is now transformed into a bloodthirsty but excessively sexy creature of the night? Yeah, I should be so lucky.

What did happen was that I took a little sabbatical, get away from civilization. Unfortunately, civilization followed me around.

So I went to this mountain range place called Cameron Highlands, and to be honest, it was pretty cool. Haha, I know, that was pretty lame. But anyway, instead of filling this post with my lame jokes, I'll just give you a deluge of pictures to enjoy. So um... enjoy.

Yeah, I have more but I'm too lazy to post them up.

Lost, Please Help Find It

2009-09-14T17:19:00.002+08:00

Hey people! I know I haven't posted up anything in a long time but I was really really busy. I lost a book! *GASP!* Well, actually, more like borrowed to someone and then forgot who borrowed it, but yeah, the main thing is that I don't have it. But I really really really want it back and if you can tell me where it is, or who has it or even if you can bring it back to me, I'll be ever so grateful and I'll reward you!

So here are a few details on it and help me search! It's life is in your hands!

Title: The Last Vampire - Vol 1
Condition: Slightly battered
Owner: Me! Duh! Me!
Reward: We are open to negotiation when you return it.

So please, help me help me help me!

Of Venetian Princesses And Dead Frogs

2009-09-06T17:04:00.007+08:00

Oh hey people! I don't know what to blog about first so I'll just throw them into a jumble and hit "frappe".

Now, first of all. There's this really cool girl out there on YouTube and she makes these really funny song parodies. Now I won't ruin her fun-ness with my incessant ranting on how great she is and just show you.

See? Haha, oh my gosh, she can make a Taylor Swift song sound funny! Oh, and look, Paul is actually Ryan Higa from Nigahiga from my past "Recommended" videos.

Disclaimer: I love Taylor Swift too, but this is just too funny. :D

We all love Lady Gaga but she can be weird, and this might just be the answer to all our questions on why she's just so quirky. Or not... She might stick a probe...

And this one might be a treat for all anti-Disney people. :)

And the best part is that she's also contemplated being adopted by Brangelina! :D I'm beginning to think she's my long-lost sister.

This one I just added because I thought it was funny.

Go! Click on VenetianPrincess and jump to her channel. :)

Okay, now we've gotten VenetianPrincess over with, let's jump now to the nagging voice at the back of my head that keeps having conversations like these at the back of my head.

Voice: You will have to dissect a frog next week.
Me: Never! I won't! No! It's so immoral and bad karma whatever.
Voice: Frog, dead, blood, stench...

Then I win by telling it that I'll just inhale the chloroform that was meant for the frog.
Ha! Take that, voice!

The Jakers Random Life Update

2009-09-04T14:00:00.004+08:00

Okay guys! I know I haven't updated for like, a really long time but I'm working on something now so you guys can get all rewarded for your unparalleled patience! :D

So here's what's been happening. I got to insult people a bit, which made me kind of happy because that person is like, really annoying. But that's over now and the thing I'm working on right now is really the next post and I've been meaning to post a few pictures too so you guys will be happy. Like the picture where I got attacked by mutant raspberries. Okay, must not give too much away or it'll be like a spoiler.

Anyway, about Paper Wonders, I know, I know. It's really empty and void of any reviews, but I'm still waiting for a reply from May-Zhee and now I'm gonna' send a reminder. She's still my favorite writer. :D And she's - ahem... Never mind.

And now we take a look back. Have you guys signed the Whaleman petition yet? If you haven't, then what the heck are you waiting for? It's for a good cause and all you need to do is type! So go! Sign, sign, sign! Okay, back to the project at hand. I'll see you guys real soon!

Save The Whales, Save The World...

2009-08-26T12:46:00.008+08:00

Kay! It's time for my long-awaited update! If you weren't waiting in suspense then just pretend you were anyway. But anyway, a lot of people would know that I'm an avid supporter of the Whaleman Foundation, so much so that I pester friends and family into supporting this awesome cause. So much so that I fail to get them into supporting this awesome cause. But that's not the point here. What is important is that all you guys should really pay attention to this post and the widget with Hayden Panettiere on it. Especially the people who love Hayden and Isabel Lucas.

Anyway, this is a once a lifetime chance for you to get on a whale-watching cruise with Hayden or Isabel and Jay Pantukhoff! He's this really cool guy with a love for marine life.

Anyway, it's really easy. It's an auction for you really cool and rich dudes, or friends of really cool and rich dudes or family of... You get the picture. It's an auction, and all you have to do is bid for it. You want to bid for Hayden or Isabel, it's up to you! Just click on the link here - The Coolest Cruise You'll Ever Go On - and you'll instantly jump to a page on SocialVibe where you can bid! The auction runs from August 25th till September 4th and is hosted by eBay! So go bid and save the whales with your money!

And if you haven't signed the petition by the Whaleman Foundation to criminalize all commercial whaling, then do it now! Just sign it in the widget below where Hayden is looking hot! Tell all your friends and all your family and then grab this widget and put it on your site or blog! Do it now and help save the whales! I'm serious, everyone grab it and then paste it on your sites or blog! Everyone! It's important that you do!

I Don't Know What To Call This Post So There

2009-08-25T11:27:00.003+08:00

Okay, I've been very busy lately and I haven't updated in um... a while but now I'm back and ready to um... write something... Darn, that wasn't a very good comeback speech was it?

Well anyway, some of you (Chester) have been wondering about my book project, the one inspired by hot local author May-Zhee Lim - I have to stop saying that - and I just want to say that I'm still waiting for her to reply my e-mail. As in I asked for her to take a picture with it and send it to me for her personal touch but she still hasn't replied so I'm stalling. I'm sad like that.

But I am starting on the Twilight box set my parents gave me and even though I've already finished Twilight once before I'm starting from the first book because it would flow more smoothly. I started the day before yesterday and I'm gonna' finish it today. Or not because that Playstation is eyeballing me and I don't like it's tone so I might have to bash its buttons later...

I'll write as soon as possible and tell you guys all about the time I got attacked by evil raspberries. But yeah, I'll write. Soon. And if I don't I'll um... do... something... else...

Short Update of My Life

2009-08-13T17:02:00.004+08:00

Okay, don't blame me for not updating for a while, some of us have tests you know! And the truth is, I'm not going update here for a week. Neither am I going to update on Paper Wonders. (Because I requested a photo of her book from my-all-time-favorite-writer and she either didn't see my e-mail or is ignoring the request... :( Too bad... Guess I'll have to review another book first...) Anyway, here's a list of what I will be doing for the next few days.

Study
Eat
Breathe
Check my e-mail.
Hope that May-Zhee sees my e-mail.
Study
Die of boredom.
Check if May-Zhee replied my e-mail.
Bother Damien.
Running away from Damien because Damien threatens to kill me if I don't stop pestering his study time.

Well, that's about it. See you in 7 days!

Attention All Bookaholics!

2009-08-07T17:56:00.003+08:00

Hey people! I know I haven't updated in a long time, but I know something that might cheer you up. Or more specifically, cheer bookaholics up. I have this new blog, and I can tell this new one is going to be fun. Apart from this completely personal blog that you're reading now, I'm going to have a second blog of which I'm going to write book reviews!

I have it on my sidebar and here's a link for you if you're too lazy to look for it. It's called Paper Wonders and you really should go check it out!

And if you're wondering why I'm doing this, it's all inspired by May-Zhee Lim. Yes, the hot Malaysian author who's guilty of making me laugh. She started this new blog for her 69 Books Project in which she tries to read 69 books in one year. WTF, I sound like a TV show host... But yeah, so bookaholics, -this means you, Chester- log on now for a way to satisfy your craving! Grrr... Must stop sounding like stupid ads!

Congratulations! You're My 1000th Visitor!

2009-08-02T18:40:00.002+08:00

Yay! I have 1000 visitors! This is a happy moment please don't ruin it. And the 1000th visitor is actually my first from Saudi Arabia! From some place called "Lne, Al Hudud ash Shamaliyah"! Click my SiteMeter link to see!

Oh my gosh! I'll celebrate!

The blogger proceeds to pop champagne and staining his carpet, leading to screams by blogger's mother, and unhappy looks from blogger's housekeeper. Blogger doesn't notice and keeps celebrating. That is until he falls out the window...

P.S. - Don't forget to comment on my previous post! Yay!

The Jakers Guide On Surviving A Day

2009-07-29T18:30:00.004+08:00

Too many humans are facing life and death problems these days and I'm writing this post to help you people survive an average day in life. *Nods vigorously* So if you follow these guidelines closely, you'd survive to die another day. What the heck this isn't James Bond...

Tip 1 - I Scream
If you see an ice-cream truck, run like hell because there's obviously a paedophile in there. Why? Because everyone knows there are not really any ice-cream trucks in Malaysia. If he says he has a "special flavor" inside for you, run even faster and don't look back. *Shivers*

Tip 2 - Fish Fingers
If you own a fish, or more specifically a goldfish, it is advisable that you do not put your fingers into the fishbowl. They have been known to bite off human fingers believing them to be fat worms. Don't do this, especially if you haven't fed your fish for days or if your fingers look like fat worms. Emphasis on fat. *Cough Cough*

Tip 3 - Calls You Don't Want To Answer
Whenever you get a call you don't want to answer, pretend you're your foreign relative. Probably from some country called Ingenschtantonston or something. Big bonus if the caller is afraid of your accent. Or you could pretend to be a Somalian pirate, if only you could figure out what types of accents they have... Arr... *Swings hook*

Tip 4 - Incompetent Drivers
This species is in abundance in Malaysia. And it takes a lot to dodge them. To prevent being roadkill, it's best to disguise yourself as a policeman. It's more convincing if you can steal a patrol car.

Tip 5 - Not Just In Moooooovies...
Don't go near cows, they are known to be vicious. They pretend to eat grass and be gentle, but once, a kid was eaten when he wanted to pet one. Be sure to stay away from them when they emit piercing shrieks that sound like "Moo", it is their war cry before they attack your delicious flesh.

Remember to follow my survival tips, you'll get through the day if you just hang in there! *Nods encouragingly*

Don't Be Afraid To Try Something New

2009-07-28T15:09:00.007+08:00

There is going to be a new character on TV and on DVD very soon. His- I mean her name, is Tracy. And she is going to have her own show. She has been through much hardship and this is where it gets her, on TV!

Her show will be called Tracy Tranny, a new show for children! It is entertaining and teaches many important life lessons to children! Featuring moral values and um... stuff, this show offers major education for children ages 3 and up.

The show already has a significant following and Tracy already has her own toy, featuring "Before" and "After" transformation features! They have already sold 3 million of these amazing dolls worldwide and are producing a new line, featuring a new doll of her real life plastic surgeon and a dollhouse modeled after his actual office! 'Kids everywhere would be so excited!' says a representative for the toy line.

Tracy Tranny is a show produced by Papparatus Productions, the multi-billion dollar company owned by A-List producer, blogger and alleged psycho Damien. 'Tracy is a very desirable role model for children all over the world these days, she brings joy to many children,' says Damien, all the while winking for no apparent reason.

Tracy is working on a new music project and she hopes her debut will be one that is successful. She has directed a new music video for a song she wrote herself, called Hottie. Also produced by Papparatus Inc. 'I see a bright future for Tracy.' says Damien, winking again. And again.

Disclaimer: This is filed under Real Fakes and is not real in any way. All related events, people, names .etc, are purely fictional. If you believed it, give me a moment to quietly laugh at you. In a nutshell, this post is fake, fake, fake.

This Is What Happens When You Don't Update For A Week, So Kids, Update To Prevent Randomitis!

2009-07-26T17:20:00.008+08:00

Because I haven't updated regularly, I don't know where to start. So I think I'll start with what happened last Thursday!

We had this group of Chinese students who flew all the way here from Guangzhou, China and then had took part in a debate with us and some girls' school from Penang. And apparently, people get really nasty during debates, because there were a lot of verbal slaps. Most of which consisted talking about suicide, slapping the Chinese students principal and burning the whole building to the ground. Apparently, the Chinese principal found all this amusing.

Then there was my weekly gym time, most of which I used on um... doing gym stuff and screaming at my gym buddy. And also making him lift heavier and heavier weights. Then, he almost fell asleep on one of the machines that I don't know the name of.

Then on Friday, I found out that my aunt grew raspberries. Why didn't she tell me sooner!? I love raspberries! After sixteen years of walking past that stupid bush did she tell me that she grew raspberries. I am so going to ransack her garden... Then I found out that she also grew cherries. Not American cherries mind you but cherries all the same! Apparently she makes some sort of fruit drink out of it.

Then she had got this new puppy.

Who apparently thinks my pants are fine cuisine and proceeded to chew on them...

Isn't that just so adorable?! Oh my gosh! Damn I'm annoying myself with this cutesy talk...

Then let's jump to today. I'm very annoyed with someone and I know how to deal with it. As soon as it crosses the line, I can tell you that my move will be dealt quickly, like how Perseus dealt with Medusa... :)

The Jakers Guide To Dating

2009-07-19T16:02:00.004+08:00

Remember, dates are an important part of every romantic relationship. And they are a great way to get to know your significant other. If you haven't dated before and you're not sure how, here's a guide that I put together to help you! And on budget too!

Step 1 - Getting to Her House
It's best to arrive in style and a limo is acceptable. Or you could borrow a friend's Ferrari or something. But don't crash into her parents' car or into her trash can. You'll get scratches on the car and the parents might be a bit worried about letting their little girl commit suicide by going out with an incompetent driver. (That means you.)

Step 2 - Meeting Her Parents
Remember to bring a gift, not only for the girl, but her parents as well. Buy chocolates for them if they're diabetic and flowers for them if they're allergic. This will make up for the terrible treatment they're going to give you when they become your in-laws. Be sure to say that her mother's moustache is absolutely unnoticeable, that will culminate a good relationship between you two.

Step 3 - Going to Dinner
You'll know that the restaurant is going to be expensive when you can't pronounce the name. And to be the good boyfriend, of course, you steer faithfully in that direction while surreptitiously checking your wallet, and then the floor for spare change. You reach the restaurant and you help her into her seat. Then you browse through the menu and wait for her to make her choice. If her choice is expensive, pick the cheapest course available for yourself. When it's time for you to pay, max out your dad's credit card and then thank heavens that you found a compartment in your friend's car that was full of ten dollar bills.

Step 4 - Going to the Movies
When she picks a romantic comedy, you of course, let her watch it. You walk into the cinema and curse the fact that you didn't charge up your iPod. You bear with the sudden crying from your girlfriend when the main female character gets dumped or something. Then she'll hurl you a whole torrent of unbelievable questions from her, and you keep nodding. Until you realize that she was talking about something else.

Step 5 - Getting Her Home
This is a tricky part, you promised her parents that she would be home by 11p.m and the movie ran till 11.30p.m. You give a loud exclamation of curses as soon as you see the time and you rush to get her home. I say this is unnecessary because her parents have already dialed 911 and are thinking that you've probably abducted their precious daughter. So you'll have a police escort to take her home.

Now, as long as you've followed every single instruction, you'll come out okay. Unless her dad employs bounty hunters instead of dialing 911, then you're dead meat. Well, have fun dating!

Jake Lo + Charity = Good Cause UPDATED

2009-07-13T18:24:00.006+08:00

Lately, I've been in a particularly charitable mood. I volunteered to help with the preparations for the school's Interact Club Installation Night. But the sad truth about that is that I left in a grumpy mood because I was feeling kinda' sick. Which by referring to the Twitter on my sidebar you'll see what happened.

Anyway, because of this extra-charitable mood, a new addition to the big, happy family on my sidebar is that cool little badge right there above the Nuffnang ad. It's my SocialVibe badge and you really should become a member now. They have all these really cool and worthy causes not unlike the one Digi had a few months back. And you get to pick which charity you want to support and who you want to endorse so they earn more money and then they sponsor your chosen charity.

And right now, they're having a petition that's going to need all your help. The Whaleman Foundation is this charity that's helping tackle the world's whaling crisis. Whales all over the world are critically endangered and we all need your help to stop this terror.

Besides this, there are other causes you can support. So join SocialVibe and pick a cause to support because it's time we gave back.

P.S. - Over here, it's my personal SocialVibe URL!

Cold and Wet, But Not Necessarily A Bad Thing...

2009-07-12T19:06:00.005+08:00

As soon as the skies opened up and rain fell down like in the Bible when everyone had to go onto this huge ark. Well, that was when I smiled my first smile of the week.

I don't know why but I've always liked rainy days. I always marvel at how cool the lightning looks. And now you know the reason of my obsession with Elle Bishop.

Anyway, it's the cold, dark mystery of rainy days that intrigue me. I love how the sky darkens just so and but still lets enough light for you to see. And then the refreshing coolness spreads over you and you feel like you're being blanketed by the wind. I love that. Every minute of that.

It fills you with awe and you marvel at just how small you actually are. How you're just a guest on this whole Earth and you don't own it. It's just so awe-inspiring.

Are They Dumb Or Something?

2009-07-10T18:23:00.006+08:00

First, they limit the subjects you can take, and now this.

This is... This is... I don't know how to express my feelings about this, but most of it is outrage. Complete and utter outrage. Learning Science and Maths in English is one privelage I've got that future kids will not be able to get.

Why in the world are they changing the language for teaching Science and Mathematics from English back into Malay? Do they even know how this will affect most kids. Just because you think that something is going to work doesn't mean that it's going to work. At least conduct a survey, or are you too lazy to do it? What's the matter? Can't lift a finger to press that button and ask your assistant to work something out?

Ugh, do they even know what they're doing? No. The question should be, do they know anything at all?!

Is Malay going to help if you go to other countries and ask for something in Malay because you don't know how to say it in English. How is that going to help people improve? Just because your teachers are too dumb or too lazy to learn English you go on and revert the teaching language back to Malay and say that it's better to do that.

Their decision will not affect me because I'm in Form 4 this year, but it saddens me to think that so many children would be denied this chance of learning these two very important subjects in English. Then they go on and say stuff about hiring foreigners to teach them English as a way to boost proficiency. Then let me quiz you this, how are you going to persuade them to do that?

And just because you say that it's difficult for students to learn those two subjects in English, you go ahead and change the language? How is that going to help? Do you really think changing the language halfway through someone's learning period is going to help them? What type of screwed up decision-making is that? And just because it's difficult, do you really make things easier for them, you should go and push them onwards, give them some form of encouragement. You don't slaughter a horse who couldn't race because it's sick, you nurture it and care for it. That's how you do something right.

And I'm really pissed off, I mean really pissed off because all I can do is write my opinions here and I'm used to manipulating things to go my way, but this is one thing that's out of my reach. I wish I could do more than this... :(

Rhinos And Cars Don't Go Together

2009-07-05T18:08:00.005+08:00

Okay, I was just Googling "Malaysian Drivers" yesterday and guess what came up? They were all something along the lines of "Why are Malaysian drivers so rude?". Haha... I mean, is that what Malaysian roads are known for?

Like how you swerve onto the road in front of another car and they show you their magic finger. Then you get mad at them and you drive alongside them and roll down your windows to scream Hokkien profanities at them. In which both of you will be too busy verbally abusing each other with what I say aren't very classy words, you don't notice that rhino crossing the road and BLAM! You dent your cars, have to replace the lights and bumpers, get a new paint job and the worldwide population of Sumatran Rhinos have dwindled by one.

And because I type a lot of my blog posts in a car, I don't think I would like to be typing this and then suddenly hear loud voices taking part in a screaming contest followed by a bang and then alight from the car to see a very rare and not to mention very expensive armoured beast lying dead in front of my car with it's tongue lolling out.

On another note, Googling on the topic wasn't a total loss. There was this really funny post on Malaysian Drivers and it's so so true! Just click here to check it out.

So drivers, please don't yell at other road users, what you should do is to get other people to yell for you. That way, you can focus on the road ahead and spare any endangered species from those new wheels you bought. And... Wait, I'm sorry I have to go. I have to throw eggs at an idiot who nearly bumped into my side of the car.

A Blogger, IQ and Mensa

2009-07-02T13:54:00.007+08:00

I have been obsessed with a lot of things recently, and one of them is hot, local author/blogger May-Zhee Lim. But let's not get into that right now, heh heh... There's this other obsession.

This particular obsession is called Mensa.

Coincidentally, May-Zhee is also a Mensan. Gah! Help me! How can she be so cool?! Why can't I be a French hottie who stars as Hannibal Lecter? And why in the world am I sidetracking and going on and on about sadistic French guys?

Back to Mensa, it's this really cool and international High IQ society. Okay, my IQ is above average (129) but it's not very high. Not even nearly high enough to get into this totally cool society! You actually need 150 at least. Gosh, how can I really boost my IQ?

I have this cousin who has an IQ of 180, but she doesn't want to get in. Or is she in? I don't know, we haven't talked much since she got into the University of something-something... Michigan, I think.

But seriously, who wouldn't want a little diploma saying you're smart? Totally flaunting it to potential employers wouldn't hurt. Well, unless that employer has an ego and doesn't like hiring people smarter than him/her cause it'll make him/her look bad in front of the boss...

But yeah, I want to get into Mensa! And they have scholarships and stuff too! And they have gatherings like Nuffnang. Imagine you saying things like, 'Oh, I met up with Geena Davis the other day and we discussed her new movie, then she told me I was invited to her premier! Oh, and I met her good friend, that little mouse named Stuart Little from that movie I can't remember the name of.". Then your friends gawp at you.

How can I boost my brain power!? Gah! Does anybody have a little ray gun that can steal brains? Or at least IQ points?

Well, at least my IQ points increased in the past few weeks. Well, how'd I know? Because it used to be 125, and then my good freind Alex started taunting me cause he got 127. Then I stole his glory and stuffed my new and shiny 129 points up his nose.

Well, according to this IQ Reference Chart, I'm "Bright" and on the borderline of being "Moderately Gifted"! And darn it, my cousin is apparently "Profoundly Gifted"... Oh no! I'll forever be overshadowed!

*Big sigh* Doesn't it suck when the object of your desire is right in front of you and you can touch it but just can't grab it completely?